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SEARCH OUR INVENTORY OF THOUSANDS OF NEW & USED BOOKS
ALL USED BOOKS IN VERY GOOD TO EXCELLENT CONDITION -- MANY LIKE NEW!

Humor

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I Am America (And So Can You!) (USED)

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Congratulations--just by looking at this webpage, you became 25% more patriotic.

From Stephen Colbert, the host of television's highest-rated punditry show The Colbert Report, comes the book to fill the other 23 hours of your day. I Am America (And So Can You!) contains all of the opinions that Stephen doesn't have time to shoehorn into his nightly broadcast.

Dictated directly into a microcassette recorder over a three-day weekend, this book contains Stephen's most deeply held knee-jerk beliefs on The American Family, Race, Religion, Sex, Sports, and many more topics, conveniently arranged in chapter form.

Always controversial and outspoken, Stephen addresses why Hollywood is destroying America by inches, why evolution is a fraud, and why the elderly should be harnessed to millstones.

You may not agree with everything Stephen says, but at the very least, you'll understand that your differing opinion is wrong.

I Am America (And So Can You!) showcases Stephen Colbert at his most eloquent and impassioned. He is an unrelenting fighter for the soul of America, and in this book he fights the good fight for the traditional values that have served this country so well for so long.

Please buy this book before you leave the store

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I Am Talking About You; Things We Would Like to Say (and Don't) to Friends, Family, Acquaintances and Strangers That Annoy Us

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There are many things that we see in others or become associated within our lives that are upsetting, unnerving or aggravating. In some cases, they are pet peeves that make us crazy. Most of the time we say nothing because it really isn't worth it. But sometimes the negative effect on us is so great we can barely stand it. This book is filled with topics that you will want (or even need) to share with a number of people who form your inner and outer circle of life. They frequently do this ridiculous and sometimes awkward, aggravating, or stupid thing. They do it all the time. You have been dying to mention something about it to them but are too chicken to act. Instead of expressing yourself or letting go in a manner that you might probably dread, Welborn Eiler has taken care of this for you. With brutal honesty, sprinkled with humor and sarcasm, he lets others know exactly where you stand and how you really feel. He covers annoying subjects across the spectrum, including: Your Unwanted Opinion; Leaving your Stuff all over the Place; Eating in Bed; Not Changing the Toilet Paper Roll; Tail-Gating; Always Late; Talking in Movie Theatres; and Picky Eaters. If any of these topics hit close to home, here is something else you might want to consider: I AM TALKING ABOUT YOU!

I Brake for Quahogs (USED)

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I Feel Bad About My and Other Thoughts on Being a Woman (USED)

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With her disarming, intimate, completely accessible voice, and dry sense of humor, Nora Ephron shares with us her ups and downs in I Feel Bad About My Neck, a candid, hilarious look at women who are getting older and dealing with the tribulations of maintenance, menopause, empty nests, and life itself.

Ephron chronicles her life as an obsessed cook, passionate city dweller, and hapless parent. But mostly she speaks frankly and uproariously about life as a woman of a certain age. Utterly courageous, uproariously funny, and unexpectedly moving in its truth telling, I Feel Bad About My Neck is a scrumptious, irresistible treat of a book, full of truths, laugh out loud moments that will appeal to readers of all ages.

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I Hate Your Guts (USED)

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New York Times-bestselling author, comedian, and radio personality Norton delivers his uncensored and controversial brand of humor, in this brutally honest and blisteringly funny collection of rants about everyone he hates--from Derek Jeter to Heather Mills. B&w photos throughout.
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I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell (USED)

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Proud of being socially inappropriate and sexually irresponsible, the author shares his carefree experiences.
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It Ate My Sister; The 100% True Autobiography of an Award Winning Writer and Professional Liar

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The 100% true autobiography of an award-winning writer and professional liar. From the back jacket: My family is so weird. I wouldn't go so far to say that we're psycho. It's just that strange things happen to us: . explosions . . genetic mutations . . poisonous snakes . . ghost attacks . and other mishaps. Sometimes I wish that we could all just relax.

It's a Jungle in Here

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Does a day at the office leave you exhausted? It's because you're fighting off predators from one minute to the next. If you hope to survive, you had better be able to recognize them, and fast! 

The most deadly is the CEO. He or she chooses the hunting ground and the rules of engagement. The CEO may be the flamboyant big-spending-big-living Jim Fizz, the uninspiring bureaucrat, Chief Dumpling or the sneaky Spector. 

As their prey, you are ambushed, at least once a day, by your All Star Boss - the charming lazy Handicap, martinet Dwight Debit, workaholic Treadmill, stifling Den Mother, terrified Chicken Little, hired gun Wyatt Earp or the deeply venomous Dick Dujour. 

Just about every hour, attacks come at you from every direction, launched by your All Pro Colleagues. Watch out for teacher's pet Deputy Tool, malicious mis-informer Jerry Malaria, bionic blob Chuck Yeast, territory-grabbing Max Pilfer, and the man who would be chairman, E. Bunsen Burner III. 

You would think that your subordinates would help you defend your position against all this villainy. Nope! Ever heard the term "ankle-biter?" Just when you've defused the latest crisis from your boss and blunted the latest charge from your colleagues, who steps up the attack from behind? The insatiably needy Tar-Pit, or the party animal Boom-Boom, the sabotage expert-Termite, the WTF? UFO, and the perpetually aggrieved and noisy Affidavit. 

Yes, in order to survive each day, you need to know who they are. You need to know what they say, what they do and how they do it. And you need to see what they look like. This astonishing field guide to the corporate office includes their pictures. Perfect to use as dartboards in your home rec room.

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Job Hopper: The Checkered Career of a Down Market Dilettante (USED)

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In this uproarious collection of essays, Halliday displays a work ethic all employers can admire: wearing a leg brace to work after calling in "sick," quitting the same day she starts by claiming her stepbrother had been in a bike accident, and faking "vocal nodes" to avoid telemarketing calls.
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Joys of Jweish Humor (USED)

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In thirty-two entertaining chapters, humorist and master storyteller Henry D. Spalding introduces us to a wide range of colorful characters from the Jewish past and present.

League of Regrettable Superheroes (USED)

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Life Will Be the Death of Me

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The funny, sad, super-honest, all-true story of Chelsea Handler's year of self-discovery--featuring a nerdily brilliant psychiatrist, a shaman, four Chow Chows, some well-placed security cameras, various family members (living and departed), friends, assistants, and a lot of edibles

"This will be one of your favorite books of all time."--Amy Schumer

In a haze of vape smoke on a rare windy night in L.A. in the fall of 2016, Chelsea Handler daydreams about what life will be like with a woman in the White House. And then Donald Trump happens. In a torpor of despair, she decides that she's had enough of the privileged bubble she's lived in--a bubble within a bubble--and that it's time to make some changes, both in her personal life and in the world at large.

At home, she embarks on a year of self-sufficiency--learning how to work the remote, how to pick up dog shit, where to find the toaster. She meets her match in an earnest, brainy psychiatrist and enters into therapy, prepared to do the heavy lifting required to look within and make sense of a childhood marked by love and loss and to figure out why people are afraid of her. She becomes politically active--finding her voice as an advocate for change, having difficult conversations, and energizing her base. In the process, she develops a healthy fixation on Special Counsel Robert Mueller and, through unflinching self-reflection and psychological excavation, unearths some glittering truths that light up the road ahead.

Thrillingly honest, insightful, and deeply, darkly funny, Chelsea Handler's memoir keeps readers laughing, even as it inspires us to look within and ask ourselves what really matters in our own lives.

Advance praise for Life Will Be the Death of Me

"You thought you knew Chelsea Handler--and she thought she knew herself--but in her new book, she discovers that true progress lies in the direction we haven't been."--Gloria Steinem

"I always wondered what it would be like to watch Chelsea Handler in session with her therapist. Now I know."--Ellen DeGeneres

"I love this book not just because it made me laugh or because I learned that I feel the same way about certain people in politics as Chelsea does. I love this book because I feel like I finally really got to know Chelsea Handler after all these years. Thank you for sharing, Chelsea!"--Tiffany Haddish

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Live Right and Find Happiness (USED)

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During the course of living (mumble, mumble) years, Dave Barry has learned much of wisdom, * (*actual wisdom not guaranteed) and he is eager to pass it on--to the next generation, the generation after that, and to those idiots who make driving to the grocery store in Florida a death-defying experience.

In brilliant, brand-new, never-before-published pieces, Dave passes on home truths to his new grandson and to his daughter Sophie, who will be getting her learner's permit in 2015 ("So you're about to start driving! How exciting! I'm going to kill myself"). He explores the hometown of his youth, where the grown-ups were supposed to be uptight fifties conformists, but seemed to have a lot of un-Mad Men-like fun, unlike Dave's own Baby Boomer generation, which was supposed to be wild and crazy, but somehow turned into neurotic hover-parents. He dives into everything from the inanity of cable news and the benefits of Google Glass ("You will look like a douchebag") to the loneliness of high school nerds ("You will never hear a high school girl say about a boy, in a dreamy voice, 'He's so sarcastic!'"), from the perils of home repair to firsthand accounts of the soccer craziness of Brazil and the just plain crazy craziness of Vladimir Putin's Russia ("He stares at the camera with the expression of a man who relaxes by strangling small furry animals"), and a lot more besides.

By the end, if you do not feel wiser, richer in knowledge, more attuned to the universe . . . we wouldn't be at all surprised. But you'll have had a lot to laugh about!

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Lizz Free or Die (USED)

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Lizz Winstead, co-creator of "The Daily Show" and one of today's most hilarious comedians and insightful social critics, pens a brilliant account of how she discovered her comedic voice.

In this collection of autobiographical essays, Winstead vividly recounts how she fought to find her own voice, both as a comedian and as a woman, and how humor became her most powerful weapon in confronting life's challenges.

Growing up in the Midwest, the youngest child of conservative Catholic parents, Winstead learned early in her life that the straightforward questions she posed to various authority figures around her-her parents, her parish priest, even an anti-abortion counselor -prompted many startled looks and uncomfortable silences, but few answers. Her questions rattled people because they exposed the inconsistencies and hypocrisies in the people and institutions she confronted. Yet she didn't let that stop her from pursuing her dreams.

Funny and biting, honest and poignant, this no-holds-barred collection gives an in-depth look into the life of one of today's most influential comic voices. In writing about her childhood longing to be a priest, her role in developing The Daily Show, and of her often problematic habit of diving into everything head first, asking questions later (resulting in multiple rescue-dog adoptions and travel disasters), Lizz Winstead has tapped an outrageous and heartfelt vein of the all-too-human comedy.

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Monologue (USED)

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"Jon Macks is one of the greatest comedy writers of all time." Chris Rock
A hilarious, revealing look behind the history and culture of American late-night TV, by a longtime comedy writer for The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.
Ever since Johnny Carson first popularized the late-night talk show in 1962 with The Tonight Show, the eleven p.m. to two a.m. comedy time slot on network television has remained an indelible part of our national culture. More than six popular late-night shows air every night of the week, and with recent major shake-ups in the industry, late-night television has never been more relevant to our public consciousness than it is today. Jon Macks, a veteran writer for The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, takes us behind the scenes of this world for an in-depth, colorful look at what really makes these hosts the arbiters of public opinion.
From the opening monologue what s funny, what s dangerous, what s untouchable to the best vs. worst guests, Macks covers the landscape of late-night comedy and punctuates the narrative with hysterical personal anecdotes, shining the spotlight on some of the very best late night jokes, and drawing from more than half a million of his own jokes written over the span of twenty years. With an insider s expertise and a laugh-out-loud voice, Macks explains how late-night TV redefines the news and events of any given day, reshapes public opinion, and even creates our national zeitgeist."
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Mother's Guide to the Meaning of Life (USED)

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The Mother's Guide to the Meaning of Life is the third in a series of books designed to find the extraordinary in the everyday. Here author Amy Krouse Rosenthal explores the joys and pitfalls of parenting in a way that mothers everywhere will recognize and appreciate. Rosenthal, who has written for The New York Times and Redbook, offers a series of essays, anecdotes, vignettes and asides, and she explores the universal themes of motherhood, from guilt and inadequacy to joy and magic to the astonishing sense of self-discovery that comes with being a mother. With wit, understanding, and hilarity, Rosenthal covers everything from "What I've Learned About Humility" to a mother's occasional, secret fantasy to run away from it all. Her fresh, Seinfeld-esque humor taps into the minutiae of everyday life with "that-is-so-true" insight and sets itself apart with its smart, witty, and delightfully quirky nature.
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My horizontal Life (USED)

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In this raucous collection of true-life stories, actress and comedian Chelsea Handler recounts her time spent in the social trenches with that wild, strange, irresistible, and often gratifying beast: the one-night stand.
You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool.
Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men and lots of them. My Horizontal Life chronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper to her even shorter dalliance with a well-endowed little person, from her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows of her one-night stands with hilarious honesty. Encouraged by her motley collection of friends (aka: her partners in crime) but challenged by her family members (who at times find themselves a surprise part of the encounter), Chelsea hits bottom and bounces back, unafraid to share the gritty details. My Horizontal Life is one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning.
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No Wonder My Parents Drank; Tales from a Stand Up Dad (USED)

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YOU'LL NEVER SLEEP IN THIS TOWN AGAINFrom Saturday Night Live to stand-up, from a blockbuster film career to the star of CBS's hit television show Gary Unmarried, Jay Mohr is one of the funniest people in comedy today. Now, in this down and dirty tale of modern fatherhood, Mohr shares his stories as a first-time parent. No Wonder My Parents Drank reveals the details behind Mohr's humiliating test-tube conception attempts and then recounts the trauma of not only having to keep this child alive, but having to spend time alone with him! He waxes poetic about dirty diapers; spins theories on spanking; and mulls over the more hidden advantages of parenthood, like carpool lane access, carte blanche to use the ladies restroom, and an alibi for missing family dinners. Mohr describes, in painfully funny detail, the bizarre situations that all parents inevitably face but can never prepare for (such as when his kid discovered his dog's rear end) as well as moments of pure joy like taking his son to his first baseball game. Mohr reports on the hilarious wisdom that his son, Jackson, has taught him--like why it's fun to play Kissy Boy with the other boys at recess, how important sunscreen is for avoiding a sunborn, and how awesome it is to get a rainbow belt in karate.Riotously acerbic and refreshingly honest, No Wonder My Parents Drank casts the very funny Jay Mohr with an even funnier mini-me sidekick as a supporting character in a little comedic love story that every person who either is a parent or has a parent will find delightful.
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Of Thee I Zing

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While Laura Ingraham was walking through a Northern Virginia shopping mall one Saturday afternoon, it all became clear to her. Everywhere she turned, she saw signs of the impending disaster: zombie teens texting each other across a café table; a man having his eyebrows threaded at a kiosk; a fiftyish woman shoe-horned into a tube top and skinny jeans; and a storefront ad featuring a Victoria's Secret model spilling out of her push-up bra and into the faces of young passersby. Ingraham wondered to herself, "Is this it? Is this what our forefathers fought for? What my parents struggled for? I wonder if Victoria's Secret is still having that two-for-one sale?"

A menacing force surrounds us. We see it, we feel it, we know it. The country we love is in grave peril. While politicians and "experts" prattle on about the debt crisis at home, and terrorism abroad, a more insidious homegrown threat is emerging. It endangers our future and undermines our present. The uncomfortable truth is: We have become our own worst enemy. The culture we have created is now turning on us. We're on the verge of drowning in our ignorance, arrogance, gluttony . . . can you believe there are only three shots of vanilla in a Caramel Macchiato?!?

Now in an act of patriotic intervention the most-listened-to woman in talk radio casts her satirical eye upon all that ails American society. In this sharp-witted, comic romp, Laura Ingraham takes you on a guided tour through ten levels of our cultural hell.

You know we're in trouble when . . .

- Airplane seats shrink--just as the passengers expand.

- Celebrity baby names go from the peculiar (Apple, Stetson, and Daisy Boo) to the pathetic (Bamboo, Blanket, and Bronx).

- People meticulously tend their virtual crops on Farmville, while their children eat takeout.

- "Breaking News" usually means it happened yesterday.

- The weddings last longer than the marriages.

- Facebook has become a verb and reading has become an ancient art form.

Of Thee I Zing is cultural commentary too funny to ignore, igniting a national conversation long past due. America, your cultural recovery begins here.

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One Hot Chick

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So many freaks . . . so few circuses."

* This hip relationship manual (part self-help and part self-expression) pairs inspired sarcasm with expressive illustrations.

One Hot Chick: In Search of Mr. Right -- Now is Cheryl Caldwell's second Co-Edikit book--this time combining her lively cartoon character drawings with to-the-point relationship observations:

* I'm so miserable without you . . . it's almost like you're still here."

* "Nobody's ugly after 2 a.m."

* "How about a nice tall glass of never-gonna-happen?

Co-Edikit-branded products are available in 20 product formats ranging from stickers, plush toys, and candy to clothing, housewares, and tattoos

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Onion and Philosophy (USED)

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This book is full of ballsy commentary from internationally acclaimed super-intellectuals on all of the best Onion articles (indexed for your convenience at the back). You could repeat some of these comments as if you'd just thought of them, at a party or something where everyone suddenly runs out of things to say.

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Out of My League (USED)

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A classic of sport, and the first of George Plimpton's remarkable forays into participatory journalism, Out of My League chronicles with wit, charm, and grace what happens when a self-professed amateur wonders how he would fare on a baseball mound in a major league game.
On an ordinary afternoon in the third-baseline seats of Yankee Stadium, Plimpton hits on what seems an inspired idea - to get on the mound and pitch a few innings to the All-Stars of the American and National Leagues. What begins as a fun-filled stunt, for the average man to pitch in the Big Leagues, comes to a nearly humiliating end. This honest and hilarious tale features Mickey Mantle, Billy Martin, Willie Mays, Ernie Banks, Whitey Ford, Ralph Houk, Richie Ashburn, and other baseball greats. What happens when America's favorite sports dilettante tries his arm against the likes of Hall-of-Fame baseball players recalls the dreams of diamond heroics of every man who still has the noble heart of youth beating in him and the fears of anyone who has taken a lump or two from life.
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Outsource Nation: The U.S. on 5 Pesoso a Day

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"Did some immigrant just take your job? Or did your job get sent overseas? Either way, it's called Globalization. And Globalization is going to make it impossible to find another job that pays as well as the one you just lost. What to do? Wake up and smell the coffee! In America, every problem is an opportunity. There's a whole new way of doing things here. It's all about keeping the best and dumping the rest. You want to keep with the best. Here's how. Follow trailblazers Dick and Jane and their family as they rise from the disaster and heartbreak of career termination to beating Globalization at its own game."
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Parent Trap columns Vol. 1 (USED)

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The Parent Trap Columns Volume I, is the first in a two-volume collection of humorous and insightful observations on contemporary teen parenting by Michael A. Battey, an East Greenwich, Rhode Island based doctor. Published in community newspapers within Rhode Island over several years, the columns reflect the author's personal experience along with commentary on parenting trends, and public education.
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Penguin Dreams and Stranger Things; Bloom County (USED)

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Planning Your Wedding Sucks (USED)

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Bling. Flowers. Tulle.
The three things that every little girl dreams of when she pictures her wedding day.

What she doesn't consider is the stuff of nightmares: Overdrawn checking accounts. Drunk relatives. The seating chart that looks like a road map.

In this book, Joanne Kimes and Elena Donovan Mauer expose the tedious (and often traumatic) tasks that really go into pulling off a wedding. From dealing with overbearing mothers-in-law and making time for their lovable, but clueless, fiancés to suffering through endless alterations and meetings with the con artists known as "vendors," there's a lot that you need to know. After all, a wedding is supposed to be something you look forward to--not something you have to endure before the honeymoon!

Armed with Kimes' trademark, no-holds-barred humor, Donovan Mauer's bridal industry know-how, and copious amounts of wine, you'll get through the stress of planning your weddings with style, humor, and grace. Or, at the very least, without beating members of the wedding party with that $500 bouquet.

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Praise for America (USED)

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- Since Jon Stewart took over The Daily Show in 1999, its ratings have soared and it now beats CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News among young adults in its time slot. In 2003, the show won two Emmy Awards and two Television Critics Association Awards. In 2001, the show won a writing Emmy and a Peabody for its 2000 election coverage.
- Jon Stewart is the author of the national bestseller, Naked Pictures of Famous People (Rob Weisbach Books, 1998). He is a media favorite and has been featured in such publications as the New York Times, Newsweek, The New Yorker, Vanity Fair, Entertainment Weekly and Rolling Stone.
- America (The Book) features lavish color illustrations, photographs, drawings, and charts.
- The book is timed to coincide with the height of the 2004 presidential election campaign, when public demand for political satire will be at its height.
- Available as a Time Warner AudioBook.
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Put on a Happy Face

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No one can resist a smile. In this sunny little volume, Cooper Edens and Richard Kehl gather images of smiles and happiness from around the world. Sly smiles, grins, giggles, and pure joy beam from these pages in delightful illustrations culled from fine art, photography, toys, and other unexpected sources - proving that happiness is all around us. Included, too, is a thoughtful selection of quotations on being happy. A volume of sheer visual delight and irresistible optimism, Put on a Happy Face is sure to charm even the sternest of hearts and makes the perfect gift for anyone feeling a little blue.
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Rants (USED)

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Dennis Miller performs 35 of his scathingly funny "rants"--the brilliantopening monologues to his Emmy Award-winning television show, "Dennis MillerLive." Whether the subject is violence, hopeless politicians, childrearingor sex, Dennis Miller has an opinion--and his point of view is alwaysinvigorating and outrageously funny.

Redneck Classic (USED)

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Resistance Cookbook Nasty Women and Bad Hombres in the Kitchen

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Served with a generous helping of humor and seasoned with personal anecdotes, The Resistance Cookbook: Nasty Women and Bad Hombres in the Kitchen gives readers a chance to reflect on the political and cultural changes of the past year, while enjoying such dishes as Comey Testimony Minestrone, Conspiracy Cake with Indictment Icing, and Impeach Mint Mojitos.

The Resistance Cookbook: Nasty Women and Bad Hombres in the Kitchen, edited by Joan Berglund and Pamela Lowell, features 100 recipes contributed by members of Action Together Massachusetts (ATMA), the state-wide social and political action organization born out of the results of the 2016 Presidential election.

All proceeds from The Resistance Cookbook go directly towards ATMA's work to support and empower activists who on the front lines of the Resistance every day. Join in cooking up resistance today!

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Rhett Link's Book of Mythicality

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#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

From the YouTube superstars and creators of Good Mythical Morning comes the ultimate guide to living a "Mythical" life, featuring stories and photos from their lifelong friendship, as well as awesomely illustrated guides, charts, and activities aimed at laughing more, learning more, and never taking yourself too seriously.

Thanks for reading this description. You're obviously a curious person, which means you've already taken your first step towards achieving Mythicality. Lucky for you, opening this book is even more rewarding than reading about it online. Within its pages, you'll discover twenty ways to fill your life with curiosity, creativity, and tomfoolery, including Eat Something That Scares You, Make a Bold Hair Choice, Say "I Love You" Like It's Never Been Said, and more. Along the way, you'll also find:

- Embarrassing stories and photos we'll probably regret sharing
- Character Building: The Board Game
- An important message from the year 2075
- A quiz to help you determine if you should get a dog
- A eulogy you can read at any funeral
- Grownup merit badges to earn
- Contributions from Mythical Beasts, and much more

If you decide to read this book, be warned - there is a high likelihood of increased Mythicality in your life, which means you may soon find yourself laughing more, learning more, and not taking yourself too seriously. This mentality has been known to spread easily to friends and loved ones.

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Rules for Aging: A Wry and Witty Guide to Life (USED)

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Acclaimed and beloved prize-winning essayist Roger Rosenblatt has commented on most of the trends and events of our time. His columns in Time magazine and his commentaries on PBS's News Hour with Jim Lehrer have made him a household word and a trusted friend of millions. With a wry sense of humor and inimitable wit, Rosenblatt offers here guidelines for aging that are both easy to understand and, more importantly, easy to implement.

More and more in the news today, we are hearing about phenomenal advances in the "fight against aging." But what Rosenblatt suggests to combat age is far more valuable than any scientific breakthrough-he breaks down the hardest part of aging, the mental anguish of growing older with fifty-four gems of funny, brilliant, wise, indispensable advice.

A book to savor, a book to keep, and a book for all ages.

This little guide is intended for people who wish to age successfully, or at all. . . . One may think of this work as a how-to book, akin to many health guides published these days, whose purpose is to prolong our lives and make them richer. That is the aim of my book, too. -from the Introduction

And this is just the start of Roger Rosenblatt's charming and thought-provoking guide to surviving the episodes that shamelessly shave years off of our lives. With a wry sense of humor and peerless wit, Rules for Aging provides guidance that is, hands down, the most practical, pleasurable and, most importantly, painless advice you'll ever receive. As Rosenblatt writes, "When I urge you to refrain from a certain thought or course of action, I do not mean to suggest that you are in any way wrong if you do the opposite. I mean only to say that you will suffer."

Rule #1: It doesn't matter
Whatever you think matters-doesn't. Follow this rule, and it will add decades to your life. It does not matter if you are late, or early; if you are here, or if you are there; if you said it, or did not say it; if you were clever, or if you were stupid; if you are having a bad hair day, or a no hair day; if your boss looks at you cockeyed; if your girlfriend or boyfriend looks at you cockeyed; if you don't get that promotion, or prize, or house, or if you do. It doesn't matter.

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S is for Stupid; An Encyclopedia of Stupidity (USED)

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With his best-selling track record, Gregory is one of AMPa (TM)s most successful non-cartoon humorists. Stupid American History was #12 on the New York Times paperback best-seller list in July 2009.

From absurd 911 calls to presidential philosophizing and foolish felons, Leland Gregory generates the best laughs by exposing the worst of human nature. Collectively, his humor collections have sold more than 500,000 copies and generated two New York Times best-sellers. Inside S Is for Stupid, Gregory sets his sights on the stupidest of stupid with a "best-of" collection featuring 50 percent new material and 50 percent fan favorites.

As Gregory's largest collection yet, S Is for Stupid features more than 350 pages of outrageous stories, trivia, and factoids organized alphabetically by topic. Such entries include:

* The following is a doctor's actual diagnostic notation: The patient is married but sexually active.

* "Shooting Reported at Firing Range" --the State, Columbia, South Carolina, August 4, 2006

* Arrested for public urination in Bowling Green, Ohio: Mr. Joshua Pees. --the Sentinel-Tribune, Bowling Green, Ohio, September 5, 2001

Because the stories Gregory chronicles are just that unbelievable, each anecdote, quote, or factoid is presented with relevant background information, including its verified news source.

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Safe Baby Handling Tips (USED)

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New parents are often overwhelmed-and befuddled-when it comes to caring for their bundle of joy. Luckily Safe Baby Handling Tips saves the day with its hilarious "do's and don'ts" on baby care. Now incompetent parents everywhere can benefit from this indispensable guide, which also includes a unique Wheel of Responsibility(TM) to help moms and dads negotiate baby chores (and shirk diaper duty!) whenever they can. Makes baby-rearing a blast!
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Scientific Progress Goes "Boink"; A Calvin and Hobbes Collection (USED)

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Calvin and Hobbes touched the hearts (and funny bones) of the millions who read the award-winning strip. One look at this Calvin and Hobbes collection and it is immediately evident that Bill Watterson's imagination, wit, and sense of adventure were unmatched.

In this collection, Calvin and his tiger-striped sidekick Hobbes are hilarious whether the two are simply lounging around philosophizing about the future of mankind or plotting their latest money-making scheme. Chock-full of the familiar adventures of Spaceman Spiff, findings of Dad's popularity poll, and time travel to the Jurrassic Age, Scientific Progress Goes "Boink" is guaranteed to set scientific inquiry back an eon--and advance the reading pleasure of all Calvin and Hobbes fans.

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Seriously Sick Jokes (USED)

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ABSOLUTELY TWISTED
SERIOUSLY DISTURBING
DOWNRIGHT WRONG

What's the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?

A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

What's green and yellow and eats nuts?

Gonorrhea.

What's pink, black and has 17 nipples?

The trash can behind the cancer ward.

What do Jersey girls use as protection during sex?

Bus shelters.

Did you hear that McDonald's is coming out with a McJackson burger?

It's a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.

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Seven Years of Highly Defective People (USED)

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Warning: more stupidity ahead (also selfishness and horniness)

Nostradamus, step aside. Scott Adams has turned futurist and gives us a much needed look into his skewed crystal ball.

Here's a taste of what you'll learn in "The Dibert Future: "

in the future, life definitely won't be like "Star Trek" (or else we'd never leave the holodeck)

there will be a huge market for technology products that help workers goof off and still get paid

Internet capacity will increase indefinitely to keep up with the egos of the people using it

it will be increasingly easy to find customers gullible enough to buy any product, no matter how worthless and stupid it is

your competitors will remain just as clueless as your are

There's only one word to describe life in "The Dibert Future: " HILARIOUS.

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Sh*t My Dad Says (USED)

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"This book is ridiculously hilarious, and makes my father look like a normal member of society."
--Chelsea Handler

"Read this unless you're allergic to laughing."
--Kristen Bell

"If you're wondering if there is a real man behind the quotes on Twitter, the answer is a definite and laugh-out-loud yes."
--Christian Lander, New York Times bestselling author of Stuff White People Like

Tuesdays with Morrie meets F My Life in this hilarious book about a son's relationship with his foul-mouthed father by the 29-year-old comedy writer who created the massively popular Twitter feed of the same name.

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Si-cology: Tales and Wisdom from Duck Dynasty's Favorite Uncle

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You know him from the hit A&E(R) show Duck Dynasty(R)--now you can enjoy Uncle Si's tall tales, crazy exploits, and quirky one-liners in one raucous collection!

As you read this book, there are a few things you have to understand: 95 percent of my stories are truthful. Every member of the Robertson family has the God- given gift of storytelling. Hey, when you've sat in a duck blind for more than half of your life, you have to figure out some way to pass the time! It's better than looking at Willie and Jase for six hours! Many of the stories I like to tell happened when I was a young boy or when I was in Vietnam. At my age, a few of the details are cloudy, but I'll recollect the coming stories as best I can. Hey, just remember it isn't a lie if you think it's true! It's up to you, the reader, to figure out what's truth and what's fiction. Best of luck with that, Jack! May the force be with you.

Hey, another thing you have to know: my stories are kind of like my vocabulary. You might have noticed I like to say "hey" quite a bit. "Hey" can mean anything. It can mean "yes," it can mean "maybe," and it can mean "no." Hey, it could mean "next week." The bottom line is, you have to understand "hey" to understand me.

And if you know anything about Silas Merritt Robertson, you know I'm a hard rascal to figure out.

--From the Prologue

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Sketchy Santa

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Ho, ho, huh?

Who's that excessively jolly fellow with the fake beard, shifty eyes, sweaty hands, and boozy breath? Why, it's not just Santa but "sketchy "Santa! Yes, 'tis the season for awkward photos of small children posed precariously on the laps of some of the most clownish, irritable, and just plain weird-looking Santa wannabes--guys you'd give a wide berth to if you passed them on the street.

Inside this painfully hilarious collection of holiday photos, you'll discover the pop culture history of the sketchy Santa, and how to identify sketchy Santas in shopping malls everywhere . . . making this the perfect gift for anyone who understands that "He sees you when you're sleeping" is a "deeply "disturbing thought.

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Snark

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- An acclaimed and thoughtful author: David Denby has been writing insightful film reviews since the 1970s. Formerly a columnist for The Atlantic and New York magazine, he has been with The New Yorker for the past decade. His nonfiction account of Western literature, Great Books, has been praised for its intelligence and breadth of scope..

- A biting polemic on the cultural tone of today: Snark tells the story of that nasty combination of snide and sarcasm that goes beyond irony and satire to just plain ugliness. Snark erupts from the mouths of politicians and pundits, from bloggers and newscasters, and from comedians too lazy to be truly funny. It's the cheap shot that hits below the belt. It's everywhere, and according to Denby, it's damaging to everyone it touches. .

Sour Grapes

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Stupid Crook Book (USED)

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Stupid Cupid

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What do you get when you mix a stand-up comedian, an English teacher, and a single mom in the on-line dating world? My sexual fantasy, but you also get Alison O'Donnell's literary masterpiece. The result is her "Self Help Comedy of Horrors." She has a black belt in comedy, and valuable scar tissue from well over 100 dates that she meshes together into hilarious and true stories that will have you firing beverages out of your nostrils with laughter. Make a date to read this book. Tom Cotter, As seen on the Tonight Show, Today Show, The Good Wife and Howard Stern Show Great book!!! LMAO!!! Funny, clever, witty and enlightening. My cheeks are still hurting. All four of them. Stupid Cupid is a cleverly written and funny awareness book illustrating the landmines of computer dating... Ms. O'Donnell's insightful and quick-witted perspective of the dating scene's trappings will enlighten any reader. A must have for any on-line (or potential) daters. Ed "The Machine" Regine, comedian, actor, writer
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Stupid Science: Weird Experiments, Mad Scientists, and Idiots in the Lab (USED)

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New York Times best-selling humorist Leland Gregory chronicles laboratory experiments gone awry, modern-day mad scientists, and scientific mythconceptions inside Stupid Science. Consider these cases of misdirected human activity, each in the name of science:

* The Illinois Department of Conservation spent $180,000 to study the contents of owl vomit.
* Georgia State University psychology professor James Dabbs discovered in 1988 that trial lawyers have about 30 percent more testosterone in their bodies than normal people (regardless of gender). Dabbs stated in the Journal of Applied Social Psychology that high testosterone levels are often linked to aggressiveness and "antisocial behavior." We all knew that lawyers were full of something--now we know it's testosterone.

* What do stinky cheese and unclean feet have in common? They both attract mosquitoes according to a November 8, 1996 article from Reuters.

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The Calvin and Hobbes Tenth Anniversary Book (USED)

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Celebrating ten years of their crazy antics, author of the Calvin and Hobbes comic, Bill Watterson, invites readers to look back at the first ten years--featuring Watterson's insights and classic comics.

"Watterson re-created the thoughts and feelings of a six-year-old with uncanny accuracy ... Calvin and Hobbes was, simply, the best comic strip." --Charles Solomon, Los Angeles Times

Many moons ago, the magic of Calvin and Hobbes first appeared on the funny pages and the world was introduced to a wondrous pair of friends -- a boy and his tiger, who brought new life to the comics page. To celebrate the tenth anniversary of this distinguished partnership, Bill Watterson prepared this special book, sharing his thoughts on cartooning and creating Calvin and Hobbes, illustrated throughout with favorite black-and-white and color cartoons.

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The Coloring Book (USED)

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From former "SNL" "Weekend Update" host and legendary stand-up Colin Quinn comes a controversial and laugh-out-loud investigation into cultural and ethnic stereotypes.
Colin Quinn has noticed a trend during his decades on the road-that Americans' increasing political correctness and sensitivity have forced us to tiptoe around the subjects of race and ethnicity altogether. Colin wants to know: What are we all so afraid of? Every ethnic group has differences, everyone brings something different to the table, and this diversity should be celebrated, not denied. So why has acknowledging these cultural differences become so taboo?
In THE COLORING BOOK, Colin, a native New Yorker, tackles this issue head-on while taking us on a trip through the insane melting pot of 1970s Brooklyn, the many, many dive bars of 1980s Manhattan, the comedy scene of the 1990s, and post-9/11 America. He mixes his incredibly candid and hilarious personal experiences with no-holds-barred observations to definitively decide, at least in his own mind, which stereotypes are funny, which stereotypes are based on truths, which have become totally distorted over time, and which are actually offensive to each group, and why.
As it pokes holes in the tapestry of fear that has overtaken discussions about race, THE COLORING BOOK serves as an antidote to our paralysis when it comes to laughing at ourselves . . . and others.

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Presents America (The Book) A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction (USED)

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The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Presents America (The Book) A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction; Teacher's Edition (USED)

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For everyone who was too cheap to buy the hardcover, the blockbuster, award-winning #1 New York Times bestseller is now in trade paperback-with a new introduction, fully updated, and with equally unsettling nude photos of the newest Supreme Court justices, and a text corrected by the most reputable college professor we could find/afford.Including: Historical inaccuracies, gross distortions, complete fabrications-corrected by real-life bearded college professor