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SEARCH OUR INVENTORY OF THOUSANDS OF NEW & USED BOOKS
ALL USED BOOKS IN VERY GOOD TO EXCELLENT CONDITION -- MANY LIKE NEW!

Humor

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Out of My League (USED)

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A classic of sport, and the first of George Plimpton's remarkable forays into participatory journalism, Out of My League chronicles with wit, charm, and grace what happens when a self-professed amateur wonders how he would fare on a baseball mound in a major league game.
On an ordinary afternoon in the third-baseline seats of Yankee Stadium, Plimpton hits on what seems an inspired idea - to get on the mound and pitch a few innings to the All-Stars of the American and National Leagues. What begins as a fun-filled stunt, for the average man to pitch in the Big Leagues, comes to a nearly humiliating end. This honest and hilarious tale features Mickey Mantle, Billy Martin, Willie Mays, Ernie Banks, Whitey Ford, Ralph Houk, Richie Ashburn, and other baseball greats. What happens when America's favorite sports dilettante tries his arm against the likes of Hall-of-Fame baseball players recalls the dreams of diamond heroics of every man who still has the noble heart of youth beating in him and the fears of anyone who has taken a lump or two from life.
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Outsource Nation: The U.S. on 5 Pesoso a Day

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"Did some immigrant just take your job? Or did your job get sent overseas? Either way, it's called Globalization. And Globalization is going to make it impossible to find another job that pays as well as the one you just lost. What to do? Wake up and smell the coffee! In America, every problem is an opportunity. There's a whole new way of doing things here. It's all about keeping the best and dumping the rest. You want to keep with the best. Here's how. Follow trailblazers Dick and Jane and their family as they rise from the disaster and heartbreak of career termination to beating Globalization at its own game."
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Penguin Dreams and Stranger Things; Bloom County (USED)

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Planning Your Wedding Sucks (USED)

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Bling. Flowers. Tulle.
The three things that every little girl dreams of when she pictures her wedding day.

What she doesn't consider is the stuff of nightmares: Overdrawn checking accounts. Drunk relatives. The seating chart that looks like a road map.

In this book, Joanne Kimes and Elena Donovan Mauer expose the tedious (and often traumatic) tasks that really go into pulling off a wedding. From dealing with overbearing mothers-in-law and making time for their lovable, but clueless, fiancés to suffering through endless alterations and meetings with the con artists known as "vendors," there's a lot that you need to know. After all, a wedding is supposed to be something you look forward to--not something you have to endure before the honeymoon!

Armed with Kimes' trademark, no-holds-barred humor, Donovan Mauer's bridal industry know-how, and copious amounts of wine, you'll get through the stress of planning your weddings with style, humor, and grace. Or, at the very least, without beating members of the wedding party with that $500 bouquet.

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Praise for America (USED)

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- Since Jon Stewart took over The Daily Show in 1999, its ratings have soared and it now beats CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News among young adults in its time slot. In 2003, the show won two Emmy Awards and two Television Critics Association Awards. In 2001, the show won a writing Emmy and a Peabody for its 2000 election coverage.
- Jon Stewart is the author of the national bestseller, Naked Pictures of Famous People (Rob Weisbach Books, 1998). He is a media favorite and has been featured in such publications as the New York Times, Newsweek, The New Yorker, Vanity Fair, Entertainment Weekly and Rolling Stone.
- America (The Book) features lavish color illustrations, photographs, drawings, and charts.
- The book is timed to coincide with the height of the 2004 presidential election campaign, when public demand for political satire will be at its height.
- Available as a Time Warner AudioBook.
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Put on a Happy Face

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No one can resist a smile. In this sunny little volume, Cooper Edens and Richard Kehl gather images of smiles and happiness from around the world. Sly smiles, grins, giggles, and pure joy beam from these pages in delightful illustrations culled from fine art, photography, toys, and other unexpected sources - proving that happiness is all around us. Included, too, is a thoughtful selection of quotations on being happy. A volume of sheer visual delight and irresistible optimism, Put on a Happy Face is sure to charm even the sternest of hearts and makes the perfect gift for anyone feeling a little blue.
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Rants (USED)

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Dennis Miller performs 35 of his scathingly funny "rants"--the brilliantopening monologues to his Emmy Award-winning television show, "Dennis MillerLive." Whether the subject is violence, hopeless politicians, childrearingor sex, Dennis Miller has an opinion--and his point of view is alwaysinvigorating and outrageously funny.
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Resistance Cookbook Nasty Women and Bad Hombres in the Kitchen

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Served with a generous helping of humor and seasoned with personal anecdotes, The Resistance Cookbook: Nasty Women and Bad Hombres in the Kitchen gives readers a chance to reflect on the political and cultural changes of the past year, while enjoying such dishes as Comey Testimony Minestrone, Conspiracy Cake with Indictment Icing, and Impeach Mint Mojitos.

The Resistance Cookbook: Nasty Women and Bad Hombres in the Kitchen, edited by Joan Berglund and Pamela Lowell, features 100 recipes contributed by members of Action Together Massachusetts (ATMA), the state-wide social and political action organization born out of the results of the 2016 Presidential election.

All proceeds from The Resistance Cookbook go directly towards ATMA's work to support and empower activists who on the front lines of the Resistance every day. Join in cooking up resistance today!

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Rhett Link's Book of Mythicality

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#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

From the YouTube superstars and creators of Good Mythical Morning comes the ultimate guide to living a "Mythical" life, featuring stories and photos from their lifelong friendship, as well as awesomely illustrated guides, charts, and activities aimed at laughing more, learning more, and never taking yourself too seriously.

Thanks for reading this description. You're obviously a curious person, which means you've already taken your first step towards achieving Mythicality. Lucky for you, opening this book is even more rewarding than reading about it online. Within its pages, you'll discover twenty ways to fill your life with curiosity, creativity, and tomfoolery, including Eat Something That Scares You, Make a Bold Hair Choice, Say "I Love You" Like It's Never Been Said, and more. Along the way, you'll also find:

- Embarrassing stories and photos we'll probably regret sharing
- Character Building: The Board Game
- An important message from the year 2075
- A quiz to help you determine if you should get a dog
- A eulogy you can read at any funeral
- Grownup merit badges to earn
- Contributions from Mythical Beasts, and much more

If you decide to read this book, be warned - there is a high likelihood of increased Mythicality in your life, which means you may soon find yourself laughing more, learning more, and not taking yourself too seriously. This mentality has been known to spread easily to friends and loved ones.

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S is for Stupid; An Encyclopedia of Stupidity (USED)

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With his best-selling track record, Gregory is one of AMPa (TM)s most successful non-cartoon humorists. Stupid American History was #12 on the New York Times paperback best-seller list in July 2009.

From absurd 911 calls to presidential philosophizing and foolish felons, Leland Gregory generates the best laughs by exposing the worst of human nature. Collectively, his humor collections have sold more than 500,000 copies and generated two New York Times best-sellers. Inside S Is for Stupid, Gregory sets his sights on the stupidest of stupid with a "best-of" collection featuring 50 percent new material and 50 percent fan favorites.

As Gregory's largest collection yet, S Is for Stupid features more than 350 pages of outrageous stories, trivia, and factoids organized alphabetically by topic. Such entries include:

* The following is a doctor's actual diagnostic notation: The patient is married but sexually active.

* "Shooting Reported at Firing Range" --the State, Columbia, South Carolina, August 4, 2006

* Arrested for public urination in Bowling Green, Ohio: Mr. Joshua Pees. --the Sentinel-Tribune, Bowling Green, Ohio, September 5, 2001

Because the stories Gregory chronicles are just that unbelievable, each anecdote, quote, or factoid is presented with relevant background information, including its verified news source.

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Safe Baby Handling Tips (USED)

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New parents are often overwhelmed-and befuddled-when it comes to caring for their bundle of joy. Luckily Safe Baby Handling Tips saves the day with its hilarious "do's and don'ts" on baby care. Now incompetent parents everywhere can benefit from this indispensable guide, which also includes a unique Wheel of Responsibility(TM) to help moms and dads negotiate baby chores (and shirk diaper duty!) whenever they can. Makes baby-rearing a blast!
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Sein Language (USED)

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Jerry Seinfeld whose distinct observations about life have become the essence of the top-rated and critically acclaimed "Seinfeld" television series, brings to his book the hilarious perspectives and classical material that have become a Thursday night viewing ritual for millions of Americans. Captured on book page are everything from Jerry's view on topics ranging from Raisinettes to relationships, from childhood to cop shows, from parents to power suits.
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Sh*t My Dad Says (USED)

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"This book is ridiculously hilarious, and makes my father look like a normal member of society."
--Chelsea Handler

"Read this unless you're allergic to laughing."
--Kristen Bell

"If you're wondering if there is a real man behind the quotes on Twitter, the answer is a definite and laugh-out-loud yes."
--Christian Lander, New York Times bestselling author of Stuff White People Like

Tuesdays with Morrie meets F My Life in this hilarious book about a son's relationship with his foul-mouthed father by the 29-year-old comedy writer who created the massively popular Twitter feed of the same name.

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Si-cology: Tales and Wisdom from Duck Dynasty's Favorite Uncle

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You know him from the hit A&E(R) show Duck Dynasty(R)--now you can enjoy Uncle Si's tall tales, crazy exploits, and quirky one-liners in one raucous collection!

As you read this book, there are a few things you have to understand: 95 percent of my stories are truthful. Every member of the Robertson family has the God- given gift of storytelling. Hey, when you've sat in a duck blind for more than half of your life, you have to figure out some way to pass the time! It's better than looking at Willie and Jase for six hours! Many of the stories I like to tell happened when I was a young boy or when I was in Vietnam. At my age, a few of the details are cloudy, but I'll recollect the coming stories as best I can. Hey, just remember it isn't a lie if you think it's true! It's up to you, the reader, to figure out what's truth and what's fiction. Best of luck with that, Jack! May the force be with you.

Hey, another thing you have to know: my stories are kind of like my vocabulary. You might have noticed I like to say "hey" quite a bit. "Hey" can mean anything. It can mean "yes," it can mean "maybe," and it can mean "no." Hey, it could mean "next week." The bottom line is, you have to understand "hey" to understand me.

And if you know anything about Silas Merritt Robertson, you know I'm a hard rascal to figure out.

--From the Prologue

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Sketchy Santa

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Ho, ho, huh?

Who's that excessively jolly fellow with the fake beard, shifty eyes, sweaty hands, and boozy breath? Why, it's not just Santa but "sketchy "Santa! Yes, 'tis the season for awkward photos of small children posed precariously on the laps of some of the most clownish, irritable, and just plain weird-looking Santa wannabes--guys you'd give a wide berth to if you passed them on the street.

Inside this painfully hilarious collection of holiday photos, you'll discover the pop culture history of the sketchy Santa, and how to identify sketchy Santas in shopping malls everywhere . . . making this the perfect gift for anyone who understands that "He sees you when you're sleeping" is a "deeply "disturbing thought.

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Snark

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- An acclaimed and thoughtful author: David Denby has been writing insightful film reviews since the 1970s. Formerly a columnist for The Atlantic and New York magazine, he has been with The New Yorker for the past decade. His nonfiction account of Western literature, Great Books, has been praised for its intelligence and breadth of scope..

- A biting polemic on the cultural tone of today: Snark tells the story of that nasty combination of snide and sarcasm that goes beyond irony and satire to just plain ugliness. Snark erupts from the mouths of politicians and pundits, from bloggers and newscasters, and from comedians too lazy to be truly funny. It's the cheap shot that hits below the belt. It's everywhere, and according to Denby, it's damaging to everyone it touches. .

Sour Grapes

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Stupid Cupid

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What do you get when you mix a stand-up comedian, an English teacher, and a single mom in the on-line dating world? My sexual fantasy, but you also get Alison O'Donnell's literary masterpiece. The result is her "Self Help Comedy of Horrors." She has a black belt in comedy, and valuable scar tissue from well over 100 dates that she meshes together into hilarious and true stories that will have you firing beverages out of your nostrils with laughter. Make a date to read this book. Tom Cotter, As seen on the Tonight Show, Today Show, The Good Wife and Howard Stern Show Great book!!! LMAO!!! Funny, clever, witty and enlightening. My cheeks are still hurting. All four of them. Stupid Cupid is a cleverly written and funny awareness book illustrating the landmines of computer dating... Ms. O'Donnell's insightful and quick-witted perspective of the dating scene's trappings will enlighten any reader. A must have for any on-line (or potential) daters. Ed "The Machine" Regine, comedian, actor, writer
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The Coloring Book (USED)

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From former "SNL" "Weekend Update" host and legendary stand-up Colin Quinn comes a controversial and laugh-out-loud investigation into cultural and ethnic stereotypes.
Colin Quinn has noticed a trend during his decades on the road-that Americans' increasing political correctness and sensitivity have forced us to tiptoe around the subjects of race and ethnicity altogether. Colin wants to know: What are we all so afraid of? Every ethnic group has differences, everyone brings something different to the table, and this diversity should be celebrated, not denied. So why has acknowledging these cultural differences become so taboo?
In THE COLORING BOOK, Colin, a native New Yorker, tackles this issue head-on while taking us on a trip through the insane melting pot of 1970s Brooklyn, the many, many dive bars of 1980s Manhattan, the comedy scene of the 1990s, and post-9/11 America. He mixes his incredibly candid and hilarious personal experiences with no-holds-barred observations to definitively decide, at least in his own mind, which stereotypes are funny, which stereotypes are based on truths, which have become totally distorted over time, and which are actually offensive to each group, and why.
As it pokes holes in the tapestry of fear that has overtaken discussions about race, THE COLORING BOOK serves as an antidote to our paralysis when it comes to laughing at ourselves . . . and others.

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Presents America (The Book) A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction (USED)

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The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Presents America (The Book) A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction; Teacher's Edition (USED)

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For everyone who was too cheap to buy the hardcover, the blockbuster, award-winning #1 New York Times bestseller is now in trade paperback-with a new introduction, fully updated, and with equally unsettling nude photos of the newest Supreme Court justices, and a text corrected by the most reputable college professor we could find/afford.Including: Historical inaccuracies, gross distortions, complete fabrications-corrected by real-life bearded college professor
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The Daily Show(The Book):An Oral History as Told by Jon Stewart, the Correspondents, Staff and Guests (USED)

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The complete, uncensored history of the award-winning The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, as told by its correspondents, writers, and host.

For almost seventeen years, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart brilliantly redefined the borders between television comedy, political satire, and opinionated news coverage. It launched the careers of some of today's most significant comedians, highlighted the hypocrisies of the powerful, and garnered 23 Emmys. Now the show's behind-the-scenes gags, controversies, and camaraderie will be chronicled by the players themselves, from legendary host Jon Stewart to the star cast members and writers-including Samantha Bee, Stephen Colbert, John Oliver, Steve Carell, Lewis Black, Jessica Williams, John Hodgman, and Larry Wilmore-plus some of The Daily Show's most prominent guests and adversaries: John and Cindy McCain, Glenn Beck, Tucker Carlson, and many more.

This oral history takes the reader behind the curtain for all the show's highlights, from its origins as Comedy Central's underdog late-night program hosted by Craig Kilborn to Jon Stewart's long reign to Trevor Noah's succession, rising from a scrappy jester in the 24-hour political news cycle to become part of the beating heart of politics-a trusted source for not only comedy but also commentary, with a reputation for calling bullshit and an ability to effect real change in the world.

Through years of incisive election coverage, Jon Stewart's emotional monologue in the wake of 9/11, his infamous confrontation on Crossfire, passionate debates with President Obama and Hillary Clinton, feuds with Bill O'Reilly and Fox, the Indecisions, Mess O'Potamia, and provocative takes on Wall Street and racism, The Daily Show has been a cultural touchstone. Now, for the first time, the people behind the show's seminal moments come together to share their memories of the last-minute rewrites, improvisations, pranks, romances, blow-ups, and moments of Zen both on and off the set of one of America's most groundbreaking shows.

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The Ecstasy of Defeat (USED)

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The Sports Page As You've Never Seen It Before From painfully obvious steroid revelations to sex scandals and superstars who announce trades in over-the-top TV specials, the wide world of sports can often seem too ridiculous for words. Well, attention sports fans: In The Ecstasy of Defeat, the editors of The Onion offer the laugh-out-loud funny and long overdue lampoon of sports culture you've been waiting for. Filled with the very best of The Onion's bench-clearing sports coverage, this book includes such classics as:
  • Lip-Reading BCS Computer Kills Officials Who Want To Shut It Down
  • Barry Bonds Took Steroids, Reports Everyone Who Has Ever Watched Baseball.
  • Report: Cheap Chinese NBA Players Falling Apart After A Few Seasons.
  • Barbaro's Doctors: "A Horse This Good You Don't Eat All At Once."
  • Lance Armstrong Wants To Tell Nation Something But Nation Has To Promise Not To Get Mad.
  • No topic escapes the satirical slap of America's Finest News Source, and the book covers not only mainstream sports--such as baseball, basketball, and football--but also lesser sports, sports culture, and special events like the World Cup and the Olympics. Featuring all the players, teams, and sports we love--and love to hate--The Ecstasy of Defeat is a must-read for sports nuts and Onion fans alike.
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    The Last Lecture (USED)

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    "We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."---Randy Pausch

    A lot of professors give talks titled "The Last Lecture." Professors are asked to consider their demise and to ruminate on what matters most to them. And while they speak, audiences can't help but mull the same question: What wisdom would we impart to the world if we knew it was our last chance? If we had to vanish tomorrow, what would we want as our legacy?

    When Randy Pausch, a computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon, was asked to give such a lecture, he didn't have to imagine it as his last, since he had recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer. But the lecture he gave--"Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams"--wasn't about dying. It was about the importance of overcoming obstacles, of enabling the dreams of others, of seizing every moment (because "time is all you have...and you may find one day that you have less than you think"). It was a summation of everything Randy had come to believe. It was about living.

    In this book, Randy Pausch has combined the humor, inspiration and intelligence that made his lecture such a phenomenon and given it an indelible form. It is a book that will be shared for generations to come.

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    The Night of the Mary Kay Commandos; Bloom County (USED)

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    A Bloom County collection featuring the Mary Kay Commandos who invade Bloom County and Opus, Milo and Steve Dallas treat them with their usual instinctive aplomb. A collection of the best daily and Sunday strips from the past year plus, in a peel-away insert, the aromatic fragrance Smell-O-Toons.
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    The Onion Book of Known Knowledge (USED)

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    Are you a witless cretin with no reason to live? Would you like to know more about every piece of knowledge ever? Do you have cash? Then congratulations, because just in time for the death of the print industry as we know it comes the final book ever published, and the only one you will ever need: The Onion's compendium of all things known.

    Replete with an astonishing assemblage of facts, illustrations, maps, charts, threats, blood, and additional fees to edify even the most simple-minded book-buyer, THE ONION BOOK OF KNOWN KNOWLEDGE is packed with valuable information-such as the life stages of an Aunt; places to kill one's self in Utica, New York; and the dimensions of a female bucket, or "pail." With hundreds of entries for all 27 letters of the alphabet, THE ONION BOOK OF KNOWN KNOWLEDGE must be purchased immediately to avoid the sting of eternal ignorance.

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    The Onion Magazine: The Iconic Covers (USED)

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    Covers That Matter For People Who Don't.
    From America's Finest News Source comes a compilation of the most important, most influential, and glossiest magazine covers ever produced by the hand of humankind. Seen by tens of billions worldwide, these are the unforgettable Onion Magazine covers that altered the course of human history and radically redefined your trivial life anew every weekend. Profound philosophical questions, the thoughts of leading cultural luminaries, harsh truths of existence, remorseless personal attacks -- you will encounter full-color graphical representations of all of these within this handsome volume. Whether you are a connoisseur of pretty pictures or are new to looking at images, THE ONION MAGAZINE: THE ICONIC COVERS THAT TRANSFORMED AN UNDESERVING WORLD is sure to give you, the feebleminded consumer, far more pleasure than you have any earthly right to experience.
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    Thurber Carnival (USED)

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    "Mr. Thurber belongs in the great line of American humorists which includes Mark Twain and Ring Lardner. The" Carnival," by offering the cream of his work... indicates impressively the scope of his gifts."-- "Philadelphia Inquirer" "Thurber belongs in the great line of American humorists which includes Mark Twain and Ring Lardner. And the "Carnival, " by offering the cream of his work...indicates impressively the scope of his gifts." "--Philadelphia Inquirer"
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    Too Old for Myspace Too Young for Medicare

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    If you've bought Dark Side of the Moon on vinyl, eight track, cassette, CD, DVD, and MP3, then this book is for you.

    According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 330 people officially reach middle age with each passing hour.

    More Too Old for MySpace, Too Young for Medicare

    With generational icons like Jon Stewart, Molly Ringwald, and miscellaneous members of the Brat Pack now advancing into their 40s, suddenly middle age seems more synonymous with Generation X than the baby boomers of yesteryear.

    For those celebrating their official entry into middle age, or those just on the upper-thirty-something cusp, Joey Green offers dozens of defining characteristics that indicate you're likely too old for MySpace, but too young for Medicare:

    * You have a remote control that controls your remotes.

    * You went through childhood without an infant seat, airbag, or seatbelt-and lived to tell about it.

    * You remember when Coca-Cola was available in only one flavor.

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    Tough Shit

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    The New York Times bestseller that is profane, honest, and contains totally wise sh*t from one of America's most original voices.

    That Kevin Smith? The guy who did Clerks a million years ago? Didn't they bounce his fat ass off a plane once? What could you possibly learn from the director of Cop Out? How about this: He changed filmmaking forever when he was twenty-three, and since then, he's done whatever the hell he wants. He makes movies, writes comics, owns a comic book store, and has built a podcasting empire.

    Tough Sh*t is the dirty business that Kevin has been digesting for forty-two years and now he's ready to put it in your hands. Kevin provides you with a blueprint for success, taking you through some big moments in his life to help you live your days in as Gretzky a fashion as you can: going where the puck is gonna be. Read all about how a zero like Smith managed to make ten movies with no discernible talent and how when he had everything he thought he'd ever want, he decided to blow up his own career.

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    Truth about Santa, wormholes, robots, and what really happens on Christmas eve

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    The How to Survive a Robot Uprising of Christmas: a dynamically illustrated, futuristic case for the scientific possibility that Santa Claus really exists.

    We all know Santa Claus: fat, jolly, omniscient, swift. Lives in a nice home in the Arctic, with the missus and a pack of elves.

    Well, forget what you know. Santa Claus is from Greenpoint, Brooklyn, as it turns out, and he's not as fat as he used to be. Here's something else you didn't know: he's been dabbling in some futuristic technology, and has found myriad ways to make his job possible. How can Santa know who's been naughty and nice? Simple: implant listening devices into your ornaments. How can he make it to every house Christmas Eve? That's nothing a little cloning and some wormholes can't solve. And he has plenty of other tactics: quantum entanglement, organ replacement, drug-induced hibernation, and unmanned aerial vehicles, to name just a few.

    In this fantastically illustrated, affectionate, and hilarious book, Gregory Mone uses science and technology to overturn the assumption that Santa can't be real. Drawing on the work of accomplished scientists and researchers, Mone gives us a whole new portrait of this remarkable man and the miracles he makes happen every year. With imaginative artwork and an eye-catching package, this book makes an outstanding Christmas gift for just about anyone.

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    Uganda Be Kidding Me

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    Wherever Chelsea Handler travels, one thing is certain: she always ends up in the land of the ridiculous. Now, in this uproarious collection, she sneaks her sharp wit through airport security and delivers her most absurd and hilarious stories ever.

    On safari in Africa, it's anyone's guess as to what's more dangerous: the wildlife or Chelsea. But whether she's fumbling the seduction of a guide by not knowing where tigers live (Asia, duh) or wearing a bathrobe into the bush because her clothes stopped fitting seven margaritas ago, she's always game for the next misadventure.

    The situation gets down and dirty as she defiles a kayak in the Bahamas, and outright sweaty as she escapes from a German hospital on crutches. When things get truly scary, like finding herself stuck next to a passenger with bad breath, she knows she can rely on her family to make matters even worse. Thank goodness she has the devoted Chunk by her side-except for the time she loses him in Telluride.

    Complete with answers to the most frequently asked traveler's questions, hot travel trips, and travel etiquette, none of which should be believed, UGANDA BE KIDDING ME has Chelsea taking on the world, one laugh-out-loud incident at a time.

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    Uncivil War (USED)

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    More than 60 Civil War period illustrations from sources such as Leslie's and Harper's Weekly have been modified with cartoons to create a hilarious perspective on America's greatest conflict.

    Wall Street Woman: A Dating Life

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    WALL STREET WOMAN: A DATING LIFE IS A BESTIARY OF THE MEN IN THE ORBIT OF A SINGLE PROFESSIONAL WOMAN IN NEW YORK CITY. 

    This authoritative guide profiles men found almost exclusively in Manhattan, including the jet-setting Don Juan Dinero, the hip downtown artist The Visionary and the driven workaholic Treadmill. Others are universal types who are abundant in the big city: ladies' man Jack of Hearts, social climbing Club Cadet, ambitious Boy Wonder, aristocratic romantic Major Gelatin. 

    Some of these guys merely pass through town, like your high school boyfriend Teen Crush and the eternal dreamer Cloud Voyager. No guide would be complete without the men who are found anywhere and everywhere, such as the recently divorced Born Again Bachelor, very married philanderer Hopalong Husband, disappointed ex-professional Trainwreck and the deadly dull Dialtone. 

    Each man is thoroughly described so you can immediately recognize him - how he discusses his interests, presents his accomplishments, tells you he likes you, asks you to bed, and talks about your future together. Good reasons to date him are also proposed. 

    Finally, Mr. Right is celebrated in glorious detail. He's clearly worth waiting for. 

    When anyone asks, "Why aren't you married?" tell her to buy this book.

    War Heads; Cartoonists Draw the Line (USED)

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    What would Susie Say?

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    Essays on a variety of topics from Susie Greene of Curb Your Enthusiasm fame and Susie Essman, both known for taking no prisoners and cutting the crap
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    When Parents Text: So Much Said, So Little Understood (USED)

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    A collection of insanely funny texts between parents and kids, When Parents Text is a surprisingly affecting window into the complicated time when parents aren't ready to let go, and kids aren't ready to be let go. The parents are well-meaning but hopeless, silly and a little corny, and befuddled by the technology. The kids are bewildered yet patient: the perfect straight man. And the authors, two recent college graduates, Lauren Kaelin and Sophia Fraioli, have an unerring editorial instinct to select the funniest, sweetest, quirkiest, most-telling exchanges.

    There's the revelatory: Mom: My fingers are saying words. This is amazing.

    The virtual scolding:
    Dad: I will deal with your sassy behavior when I get home. Meanwhile have some fiber.

    The autofill-challenged:
    Mom: dig up some tadpoles on ur way homo. Me: ummm, what? Mom: It autocorrected me. I mean to say dig up some tadpoles on ur way homo. (4 minutes later) Mom: PICK UP SOME TAMPONS ON YOUR WAY HOME.

    The manically inappropriate:
    Mom: Woo Hoo--Ruth died, you know Uncle Lyman's wife, BUT I have your Braves tickets and check on the table!!

    And the downright inexplicable:
    Dad: You could poop your pants in the yankee candle store and no one would know.

    Launched as a website just last year, www.whenparentstext.com is a phenomenon. It receives 300,000 to 500,000 page views a day, with features in The Huffington Post, Entertainment Weekly, College Humor, and more. When Parents Text includes the best of texts from the website, plus more than 50 percent all-new material never before published.

    Includes an emoticon glossary and 16-page color insert of MMS texts-- multimedia messaging service, aka, bizarre photos from mom and dad. It's the perfect gift for every text-savvy kid to give to his or her parents.
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    When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops (USED)

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    Now in paperback, the New York Times bestseller that takes readers on a riotous journey through the mind of one of America's premier comics George Carlin's legendary irreverence and iconoclasm are on full display in When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? as he vainly scours the American landscape for signs of intelligence in his third national bestseller. Ranging from his absurdist side (Message from a Cockroach; TV News: The Death of Humpty Dumpty; Tips for Serial Killers) to his unerring ear for American speech (Politician Talk; Societal Clichs; Euphemisms: 13 sections) to his unsparing views on America and its values (War, God, Stuff Like That; Zero Tolerance; Tired of the Handi-crap), Carlin delivers everything that his fans expect, and then adds a few surprises. Carlin on the battle of the sexes: Here's all you have to know about men and women: Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
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    Whose Boat Is This Boat

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    100% of The Late Show's proceeds from this book go to hurricane relief.

    Whose Boat Is This Boat? Comments That Don't Help in the Aftermath of a Hurricane is a picture book made entirely of quotations from President Donald Trump in the wake of Hurricane Florence. It is the first children's book that demonstrates what not to say after a natural disaster.

    On September 19, 2018, Donald Trump paid a visit to New Bern, North Carolina, one of the towns ravaged by Hurricane Florence. It was there he showed deep concern for a boat that washed ashore. "At least you got a nice boat out of the deal," said President Trump to hurricane victims. "Have a good time!" he told them. The only way his comments would be appropriate is in the context of a children's book--and now you can experience them that way, thanks to the staff of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.

    Whose Boat Is This Boat? is an excellent teaching tool for readers of all ages who enjoy learning about empathy by process of elimination. Have a good time!

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    Why don't Cats Like to Swim? (USED)

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    Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?
    Which fruits are in Juicy Fruit(R) gum?
    Why do people cry at happy endings?
    Why do you never see baby pigeons?

    Pop-culture guru David Feldman demystifies these topics and so much more in Why Don't Cats Like to Swim? -- the unchallenged source of answers to civilization's most perplexing questions. Part of the Imponderables(R) series, Feldman's book arms readers with information about everyday life -- from science, history, and politics to sports, television, and radio -- that encyclopedias, dictionaries, and almanacs just don't have. Where else will you learn what makes women open their mouths when applying mascara?

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    Would You Rather...? (USED)

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    Would You Rather...? takes the idea of parlor game questions to a new level of debate and lunacy. It's a chunky book of 400 questions that range from the heinous to the nauseating to the downright disturbing, each a field-tested conversation starter--because no matter how strange or far-fetched, Would You Rather...? knows that choice provokes thinking, and thinking is fun.

    Some questions, like a Rorschach test, reveal values: Would you rather . . . Age only from the neck up -OR- age only from the neck down? Be stupid and rich -OR- smart and poor? Some delight in their own grossness: Eat three earthworms -OR- wear a necklace made of them on your wedding day? Be trapped in an elevator with wet dogs -OR- three fat men with bad breath? Some churn up prejudices: Lose your mate to the same sex as yourself -OR- the opposite sex? Some create that squirming sensation: Get a bad case of poison ivy way up inside your nose -OR- inside your inner ear? Or ethical dilemmas: Be president of a firm that poaches endangered species -OR- work for a corrupt politician? And some are just deliciously absurd: Catch a porcupine thrown from a second-story window -OR- a skunk thrown from the same window? Each question is followed up with related, often off-the-wall information, from odd trivia to dumb jokes to the occasional practical advice (go for the skunk--the porcupine's got 30,000 quills, while tomato juice will take away the skunk smell).

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    You're a Vampire: That Sucks! (USED)

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    Being bitten by and turned into a vampire isn't the glitz and glamor that Hollywood makes it out to be. In fact, one out of five newly turned vampires will succumb to a slew of easily avoidable and common pitfalls within their first few months as a nightwalker--tempting garlic-laced Italian food, silver jewelry, and anything with an SPF below 1,000 will have to go.

    As an answer to this tragic loss of undead life, "Count" Domenick Dicce has written the definitive how-to guide that just might save your pale, ice-cold skin. This helpful tome will cover everything from Vampire 101--such as hunting, feeding, and getting used to your new powers--to Vampire Graduate Studies--such as coffin selection, the ghoulish world of vampiric social hierarchy, and the universal Laws of the Vampire.

    This humorous and giftable guide will be perfect for you or the vampire nut in your life, complete with illustrations throughout.

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    Zombie Combat Field Guide

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    The Zombie Combat Manual provided potential zombie fighters with comprehensive instructions on how to do battle in the inevitable outbreak of an undead plague. However, even the most comprehensive advice is useless without study and practice.

    Thus, the Institute for Undead Combat Studies has created an essential field handbook to help combatants of the walking dead hone their fighting skills, ensuring maximum preparedness for the zombie apocalypse. This interactive guide includes:

  • Detailed technique illustrations, anatomical diagrams, and zombie combat drawings you can color
  • Puzzles and brain exercises to help remember key combat terminology
  • Work pages on making the right choices during an undead outbreak
  • and much more!

  • Anyone can become an effective warrior against the walking dead. Make sure you're ready to fight when the time comes--or prepare to join the zombie horde...