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A collection of Found magazine's best lost, tossed, and forgotten items, Found offers a fascinating glimpse into other people's lives. Discarded valentines. Ransom notes. To-do lists. Diaries. Homework assignments. A break-up letter written on the back of an airsickness bag. Whether they are found on buses, at stores, in restaurants, waiting rooms, parking lots, or even prison yards, these items give readers an uncensored, poignant, and often hilarious peek into other people's lives. By collecting them in his hit magazine, Found (and its companion website, www.foundmagazine.com), Davy Rothbart has bewitched the nation with a surprising window into its heart and soul and turned his many readers into an army of sharp-eyed finders. Found is chock-full of the latest and greatest of these finds, arranged in the style of the magazine, laying bare the tantalizing tales to be discovered in the trash we toss. By turns heartbreaking and hysterically funny, Found is a mesmerizing tribute to everyday life and our eternal curiosity about our fellow human beings.
Since time immemorial mankind has been plagued by the question "What do you do with a dead cat?" Here, at last, in 101 hilarious, outrageous, and (sometimes) downright sick cartoons, are some answers. 101 black-and-white illustrations.
Attention would-be "paesans": Can't distinguish "gabagool" from "pasta fazool"? Not sure how to properly accessorize your track suit with gold chains? Does the phrase "go to the mattresses" make you sleepy? Now Steven R. Schirripa, "The Sopranos'" own Bobby Bacala, exposes the inner mysteries of this unique Italian-American hybrid in A Goomba's Guide to Life so that anyone can walk, talk, and live like a guy "from the neighborhood."
Uber-goomba Steve Schirripa shows how being a goomba made him what he is today, offering lessons learned on his own journey from Bensonhurst to Vegas, and to his current gig as Bobby Bacala on one of TV's most popular shows. Along the way, he shares secrets that will help you get in touch with your own inner goomba. You'll learn what music to enjoy (Sinatra, yes; Snoop Dogg, no), what movies to watch (Raging Bull, yes; Titanic, never), which sports to follow (baseball is good; golf and tennis, fuhgeddaboudit), and even tips on goomba etiquette. Ever wonder how a real goomba gets the best seat in the house? (Hint: It involves tipping, jewelry, and intimidation.) Schirripa even includes goomba do's and don'ts (never, ever criticize a goomba's mother or her gravy; always wear more jewelry than you think you need).
With knockout photographs of Schirripa and his compares, and insider information on how to think goomba, speak goomba, cook and eat goomba, and even how to behave at goomba weddings and funerals, A Goomba's Guide to Life will show any wiseguy wannabe how to sing like a Soprano.
Uber-goomba Steve Schirripa shows how being a goomba made him what he is today, offering lessons learned on his own journey from Bensonhurst to Vegas, and to his current gig as Bobby Bacala on one of TV's most popular shows. Along the way, he shares secrets that will help you get in touch with your own inner goomba. You'll learn what music to enjoy (Sinatra, yes; Snoop Dogg, no), what movies to watch (Raging Bull, yes; Titanic, never), which sports to follow (baseball is good; golf and tennis, fuhgeddaboudit), and even tips on goomba etiquette. Ever wonder how a real goomba gets the best seat in the house? (Hint: It involves tipping, jewelry, and intimidation.) Schirripa even includes goomba do's and don'ts (never, ever criticize a goomba's mother or her gravy; always wear more jewelry than you think you need).
With knockout photographs of Schirripa and his compares, and insider information on how to think goomba, speak goomba, cook and eat goomba, and even how to behave at goomba weddings and funerals, A Goomba's Guide to Life will show any wiseguy wannabe how to sing like a Soprano.
"From the Hardcover edition."
Attention would-be "paesans": Can't distinguish "gabagool" from "pasta fazool"? Not sure how to properly accessorize your track suit with gold chains? Does the phrase "go to the mattresses" make you sleepy? Now Steven R. Schirripa, "The Sopranos'" own Bobby Bacala, exposes the inner mysteries of this unique Italian-American hybrid in A Goomba's Guide to Life so that anyone can walk, talk, and live like a guy "from the neighborhood."
Uber-goomba Steve Schirripa shows how being a goomba made him what he is today, offering lessons learned on his own journey from Bensonhurst to Vegas, and to his current gig as Bobby Bacala on one of TV's most popular shows. Along the way, he shares secrets that will help you get in touch with your own inner goomba. You'll learn what music to enjoy (Sinatra, yes; Snoop Dogg, no), what movies to watch (Raging Bull, yes; Titanic, never), which sports to follow (baseball is good; golf and tennis, fuhgeddaboudit), and even tips on goomba etiquette. Ever wonder how a real goomba gets the best seat in the house? (Hint: It involves tipping, jewelry, and intimidation.) Schirripa even includes goomba do's and don'ts (never, ever criticize a goomba's mother or her gravy; always wear more jewelry than you think you need).
With knockout photographs of Schirripa and his compares, and insider information on how to think goomba, speak goomba, cook and eat goomba, and even how to behave at goomba weddings and funerals, A Goomba's Guide to Life will show any wiseguy wannabe how to sing like a Soprano.
Uber-goomba Steve Schirripa shows how being a goomba made him what he is today, offering lessons learned on his own journey from Bensonhurst to Vegas, and to his current gig as Bobby Bacala on one of TV's most popular shows. Along the way, he shares secrets that will help you get in touch with your own inner goomba. You'll learn what music to enjoy (Sinatra, yes; Snoop Dogg, no), what movies to watch (Raging Bull, yes; Titanic, never), which sports to follow (baseball is good; golf and tennis, fuhgeddaboudit), and even tips on goomba etiquette. Ever wonder how a real goomba gets the best seat in the house? (Hint: It involves tipping, jewelry, and intimidation.) Schirripa even includes goomba do's and don'ts (never, ever criticize a goomba's mother or her gravy; always wear more jewelry than you think you need).
With knockout photographs of Schirripa and his compares, and insider information on how to think goomba, speak goomba, cook and eat goomba, and even how to behave at goomba weddings and funerals, A Goomba's Guide to Life will show any wiseguy wannabe how to sing like a Soprano.
Remember the debt crisis? The worst economic crisis in America since the Great Depression. The United States almost went under.
People say it was caused by the federal government forcing poor people to own their own homes. Were they nuts? Everyone knows that poor people can't own their own homes. That's why we have projects. That's why we have trailer parks. That's why we have shelters.
Well it's going to happen all over again. Poor people are saying there aren't any apartments they can afford anymore, and banks won't help them buy trailers. So they are trying to own homes again. Don't fall for it! It will bring the economy down again. Here's the proof!
This is the true story of Alice, a poor person, who wanted to buy a home the last time around.
All Women Are Bitches is a short, historically factual, very irreverent and slightly biased account of the relationships between women and men and their connection to religion. Although this is clearly meant to be a handbook for men, it is dedicated to all the beautiful women who inspired me to write it. I realize that many of you will understandably be quite upset with me and think that only an asshole would write a book with a title like this. You could be right about that, but please don't rush to judgment. Do you really think I spent all this time and effort to be known as the asshole who wrote a book? The contents might surprise you, and if you take the time to read the entire book, you may change your opinion. I'm actually very loveable. And ladies, if you do decide to read this handbook for men, there is a section near the end where I offer you some helpful advice that you may be able to use in the future. And don't get all negative on me before I even start; I'm not telling you what to do because I know better. I'm only offering advice. When I decided well over a year ago to write a book, I wasn't really sure what to write about. My initial thought was to come across as likeable and for the book to be entertaining, easy reading, and non-offensive. Obviously that didn't happen. Days went by and I had nothing, so I wrote this instead.
Book store nation, in the history of mankind there has never been a greater country than America. You could say we're the #1 nation at being the best at greatness. But as perfect as America is in every single way, America is broken! And we can't exchange it because we're 236 years past the 30-day return window. Look around--we don't make anything anymore, we've mortgaged our future to China, and the Apologist-in-Chief goes on world tours just to bow before foreign leaders. Worse, the L.A. Four Seasons Hotel doesn't even have a dedicated phone button for the Spa. You have to dial an extension! Where did we lose our way?! It's high time we restored America to the greatness it never lost! Luckily, AMERICA AGAIN will singlebookedly pull this country back from the brink. It features everything from chapters, to page numbers, to fonts. Covering subject's ranging from healthcare ("I shudder to think where we'd be without the wide variety of prescription drugs to treat our maladies, such as think-shuddering") to the economy ("Life is giving us lemons, and we're shipping them to the Chinese to make our lemon-flavored leadonade") to food ("Feel free to deep fry this book-it's a rich source of fiber"), Stephen gives America the dose of truth it needs to get back on track.
Ladies: Are you sick of sitting on the bench while the men in your life talk Fantasy Football? Have you always wanted to know how to kick down a door? Build a fire? For any gal who's ready to go head-to-head with the guys on their own turf this book is brimming with sassy, do-it-yourself style. It's chock-full of instructions on the manliest of manly arts, from the highbrow (know the difference between single malt and blended whiskey), to the lowbrow (learn to spit farther than a trucker). Authors Jennifer Axen and Leigh Phillips have written this comprehensive, how-to manual for all the smart, capable women who are sick and tired of being laughed at for not knowing which way is North, intimidated by the finer points of grilling, or just plain excluded for not knowing the (let's face it, very convoluted) infield fly rule. So, for the women out there who know they can do it betterjust as soon as they learn howhelp is finally at hand!
Fresh from her success with the best-selling "Bushworld," Maureen Dowd turns her sparkling prose and wise wit to a topic even more incendiary than presidential politics: sexual politics.
Four decades after the sexual revolution, nothing has worked out the way it was supposed to. The sexes are circling each other as uneasily and comically as ever, from the bedroom to the boardroom to the Situation Room, and now the "New York Times" columnist who won a Pulitzer Prize in 1999 for saucy and incisive commentary about the dangerous liaisons of Bill, Monica, Hillary and Ken Starr digs into the Y and X files, exploring the mysteries and muddles of sexual combat in America.
In a new book filled with chapters that surprise and amuse, Dowd explains why getting ready for a date went from glossing and gargling to Paxiling and Googling; why men are in an evolutionary and romantic shame spiral; why women have reeled backward in many ways; why men may be biologically unsuited to hold higher office, given their diva fits and catfights, teary confessions and fashion obsessions; why women are fixated on their looks more than ever, freezing their faces and emotions in an orgy of plasticity that makes the Stepford Wives look authentic; why male politicians and male institutions get tripped up in so much monkey business; why many alpha women, from Martha to Hillary, can have a successful second act only after becoming humiliated victims; and why the new definition of Having It All is less about empowerment and equality than about flirting and getting rescued, downshifting from "You go, girl!" to "You go lie down, girl."
In addition, Dowd, who has reported on historic moments on the sexual battlefield, from Geraldine Ferraro's vice-presidential run to the Anita Hill-Clarence Thomas hearings to Hillary Rodham Clinton's reign as copresident, explores not only how many of these shining feminist triumphs backfired on women but also how Hillary, a feminist icon busy plotting her campaign to be the first woman president, delivered the final blow to female solidarity herself.
Women's liberation has been less a steady trajectory than a confusing zigzag. Feminism lasted for a nanosecond and generated a gender tangle that has bewitched, bothered and bewildered men and women for forty years. Now comes a woman to cut through the tangle and tickle Adam's rib. The battle of the sexes will never be the same.
Four decades after the sexual revolution, nothing has worked out the way it was supposed to. The sexes are circling each other as uneasily and comically as ever, from the bedroom to the boardroom to the Situation Room, and now the "New York Times" columnist who won a Pulitzer Prize in 1999 for saucy and incisive commentary about the dangerous liaisons of Bill, Monica, Hillary and Ken Starr digs into the Y and X files, exploring the mysteries and muddles of sexual combat in America.
In a new book filled with chapters that surprise and amuse, Dowd explains why getting ready for a date went from glossing and gargling to Paxiling and Googling; why men are in an evolutionary and romantic shame spiral; why women have reeled backward in many ways; why men may be biologically unsuited to hold higher office, given their diva fits and catfights, teary confessions and fashion obsessions; why women are fixated on their looks more than ever, freezing their faces and emotions in an orgy of plasticity that makes the Stepford Wives look authentic; why male politicians and male institutions get tripped up in so much monkey business; why many alpha women, from Martha to Hillary, can have a successful second act only after becoming humiliated victims; and why the new definition of Having It All is less about empowerment and equality than about flirting and getting rescued, downshifting from "You go, girl!" to "You go lie down, girl."
In addition, Dowd, who has reported on historic moments on the sexual battlefield, from Geraldine Ferraro's vice-presidential run to the Anita Hill-Clarence Thomas hearings to Hillary Rodham Clinton's reign as copresident, explores not only how many of these shining feminist triumphs backfired on women but also how Hillary, a feminist icon busy plotting her campaign to be the first woman president, delivered the final blow to female solidarity herself.
Women's liberation has been less a steady trajectory than a confusing zigzag. Feminism lasted for a nanosecond and generated a gender tangle that has bewitched, bothered and bewildered men and women for forty years. Now comes a woman to cut through the tangle and tickle Adam's rib. The battle of the sexes will never be the same.
FROM GROWING UP IN DETROIT, where he marched as a ten-year-old with Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., to attending the inauguration of President Barack Obama, where he narrowly avoided the Purple Tunnel of Doom but still saw nothing, David Alan Grier examines how he -- and America -- have changed for the better and the funnier.
Within these pages, Grier imagines being called to serve in President Obama's cabinet as the "secretary of mirth"; takes you to a wild and emotional election night party he hosted that didn't go as planned; explains the true meaning of the "magical Negro"; recalls the formative episodes from his life -- including being rejected by the Black Panthers at their headquarters door and turning down the initial offer to work on "In Living Color" -- and for the first time ever sneaks you backstage at "Dancing with the Stars," where he exposes the inner workings of the show -- the camaraderie between dancers and stars, the excruciatingly painful rehearsals, the outrageous preparations, and each hysterical moment of his four-episode appearance and subsequent public meltdown.
Grier unabashedly muses on politics, culture, and race while recounting his own life story in this edgy, timeless, hilarious, and revelatory memoir and look at all things Barack.
"Barack Like Me" is David Alan Grier at his best -- the man, comic, and twenty-first-century thinker -- funny, brilliant, and original.
From bestselling author and host of HBO's Real Time, Bill Maher's new book of political riffs serves up a savagely funny set of rules for preserving sanity in an insane world.
A follow-up to the New York Times bestselling The New Rules, The New New Rules delivers a series of hilarious, intelligent rants on everything from same-sex marriage to healthcare, from Republican agendas to celebrity meltdowns, with all the razor-sharp insight that has made Bill Maher one of the most influential comedic voices shaping the political debate today.
With another presidential campaign on the horizon and a stellar set of real-life characters to have fun with - "New Rule: If Charlie Sheen's home life means he can't have a TV show, then I say Newt Gingrich can't be president." This enlightening and important book may be the best thing you pretend to read all year.
The Pulitzer Prize-winning creator of the hilarious "Bloom County" comic strip is back! To help celebrate, here is the first ever Bloom County picture book, featuring fan-favorite Bill the Cat in an origin story. (Ack ack!) The perfect gift for Bloomers old and new. An Amazon Best Book of the Year and NY Times bestseller! Almost thirty-five years ago Berkeley Breathed launched a little-known yet laugh-inducing comic strip called "Bloom County" that was full of characters who instantly entered the public consciousness--none more so than Opus (the penguin) and Bill the Cat. Bloom County's popularity soared, it was soon syndicated nationally, had millions of daily readers, and before long its creator was awarded a Pulitzer Prize. Then, nine years later, "Bloom County" sadly came to a close. It had simply ceased being fun for Berkeley Breathed. Now, more than twenty-five years after it ended, "Bloom County" has returned in full force and humor online, with an ever-growing fanbase every bit as zealous as it was in the strip's heyday. For the comic's youngest fans, and for those who never stopped wishing for its return, here is an all-new, kid-friendly story for anyone who ever wanted to know the origin story of Bill the Cat. "Bloom County" has never been more fun! Praise for The Bill the Cat Story "The illustrations, a mixture of cartoons, eye-popping virtual paintings, and pencil sketches, will pull inquisitive audiences of all ages into the story."--Booklist "[E]xtravagantly rendered artwork in luscious color."--Publishers Weekly
The blowhard-skewering saga continues, with all-new, never-before-printed strips featuring everyone's favorite penguin and all the other quirky denizens of the magical land called Bloom County. This second volume from the strip's 2015 relaunch follows just a year after Bloom County Episode XI: A New Hope, but, boy, have things changed. It seems like we need Opus, Bill, and the gang now more than ever. Filled with biting, hilarious, and all-too necessary political insight from one of America's most celebrated cartoonists, a Brand Spanking New Day is just what the doctor ordered.
"'IN SEARCH OF EXCELLENCE, MEETS 'CATCH 22"- Elaine T., exec at a large knowledge-based firm.
FUNNY AS HELL AND WAY-l'M SORRY-WAY TOO REAL." - Terri B., Former manager, M&A arm of a major telecommunications firm
AS YOU READ EACH CHAPTER, YOU CAN SEE IT COMING. AT LEAST, I CAN SEE IT NOW. BUT BACK WHEN IT HAPPENED TO ME, I DIDN'T SEE IT COMING AT ALL." - Paul M., line manager at a large manufacturing firm that's gone private
IF YOU'VE BEEN THERE, YOU GET IT. IF YOU HAVEN'T, YOU DON'T. SHOULD BE MANDATORY READING FOR B-SCHOOL, SO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GET TING INTO." - Ellen M., retired exec, multinational financial firm
'THIS IS NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN CHART. THERE'S NO METRIC. IT JUST SEEPS ITS WAY INTO EVERY CORNER OF THE CORPORATION. AND THEN IT FLUSHES ITS WAY OUT THROUGH THE MARKET." - Mike T., Former Harvard economist
"TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN!" - Walter A., media content provider
"THIS IS EXACTLY HOW WE GOT TO WHERE WE ARE." - John P., exec at large manufacturing firm
IT'S THE JAMES JOYCE ULYSSES OF THE MIDDLE MANAGER. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE SHOW IS, OR WHAT SCENE YOU'RE IN, OR WHAT THE RIGHT LINES ARE, OR WHAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPENING NEXT, OR WHAT IT ALL MEANS. YOU KNOW FOR A FACT THAT SOMETHING'S HAPPENING. THOUGH YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS, AND IT'S NOT ALWAYS FUNNY." - Chris R., SVP at a large financial institution
"THE BALLAD OF THE HIGH-PERFORMING BABY BOOMER. THANK GOD I RETIRED IN THE 1980S. THANK GOD I INVESTED IN ZERO COUPON TREASURIES AND DIVIDEND STOCKS. I WISH YOU ALL LUCK." -Retired CEO of a large corporation
"SIX SIGMA ON ACID." -Steve J., computer design engineer
David Sedaris returns with his most deeply personal and darkly hilarious book. If you've ever laughed your way through David Sedaris's cheerfully misanthropic stories, you might think you know what you're getting with Calypso. You'd be wrong. When he buys a beach house on the Carolina coast, Sedaris envisions long, relaxing vacations spent playing board games and lounging in the sun with those he loves most. And life at the Sea Section, as he names the vacation home, is exactly as idyllic as he imagined, except for one tiny, vexing realization: it's impossible to take a vacation from yourself. With Calypso, Sedaris sets his formidable powers of observation toward middle age and mortality. Make no mistake: these stories are very, very funny--it's a book that can make you laugh 'til you snort, the way only family can. Sedaris's powers of observation have never been sharper, and his ability to shock readers into laughter unparalleled. But much of the comedy here is born out of that vertiginous moment when your own body betrays you and you realize that the story of your life is made up of more past than future. This is beach reading for people who detest beaches, required reading for those who loathe small talk and love a good tumor joke. Calypso is simultaneously Sedaris's darkest and warmest book yet--and it just might be his very best.
Cartoon Success Secrets offers a veritable comics college education on how to succeed as a cartoonist. It features insider's perspectives from 20 top cartoonists, whose comic strips such as Zits, Garfield, Cathy, and For Better or For Worse appear in at least a thousand newspapers every day. Author Jud Hurd caught the cartooning bug more than three quarters of a century ago, and at age 90 he's still not cured. Now, in Cartoon Success Secrets, the editor of the cartooning industry's leading insider magazine, CARTOONIST PROfiles, shares the colorful stories and sage advice of his cartoonist colleagues. Through his personal encounters with virtually every cartoonist legend of the last four decades, Hurd amassed countless insights from the world's best cartoonists on how they rose to the top of their field. Now, for the first time ever, he shares his early conversations with such famous cartoonists as Walt Disney, Rube Goldberg, H. T. Webster, George McManus, Frederick Opper, and countless others who succeeded in selling their creations to major syndicates and attaining their cartooning aspirations. Their words will inspire all who have dreamed of becoming a famous cartoonist. Many books have profiled cartooning legends, but never before has a book compiled detailed advice from these creators on how they achieved their success. Cartoon Success Secrets is sure to fascinate cartoon enthusiasts the world over, from fledgling cartoonists looking to break into the industry to fans of the funny pages wanting to know how their favorite artists made it big.
In this inside look at cats through the centuries, a savvy feline of the nineties gives us a delightful, yet factual look at cats who came before in all walks of life: art, literature, as muse and inspiration for famous owners, and as memorable marketing tools and spokescats for products now an indispensable a part of our lives.
The book that Janet Maslin of The New York Times has called "indispensable" and "a transfixing study of American mores and manners that happens to incorporate boundless laughs, too" is finally available in paperback--fully updated and featuring a brand new introduction by Adam Gopnik. Organized by decade, with commentary by some of the magazine's finest writers, this landmark collection showcases the work of the hundreds of talented artists who have contributed cartoons over the course ofThe New Yorker's eight-two-year history. From the early cartoons of Peter Arno, George Price and Charles Addams to the cutting-edge work of Alex Gregory, Matthew Diffee and Bruce Eric Kaplan (with stops along the way for the genius of Charles Barsotti, Roz Chast, Jack Ziegler, George Booth, and many others), the art collected here forms, as David Remnick puts it in his Foreword, "the longest-running popular comic genre in American life." Throughout the book, brief overviews of each era's predominant themes--from the Depression and nudity to technology and the Internet, highlight various genres of cartoons and shed light on our pastimes and preoccupations. Brief profiles and mini-portfolios spotlight the work of key cartoonists, including Arno, Chast, Ziegler, and others. The DVD-ROM included with the book is what really makes the "Complete Cartoons" complete. Compatible with most home computers and easily browsable, the disk contains a mind-boggling 70,363 cartoons, indexed in a variety of ways. Perhaps you'd like to find all the cartoons by your favorite artist. Or maybe you'd like to look up the cartoons that ran the week you were born, or all of the cartoons on a particular subject. Of course, you can always begin at the beginning, February 21, 1925, and experience the unprecedented pleasure of reading through every single cartoon ever published in The New Yorker. Enjoy this one-of-a-kind protrait of American life over the past eight decades, as captured by the talented pens and singular outlooks of the masters of the cartoonist's art.
A behind-the-scenes look at the rise and fall of The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour -- the provocative, politically charged program that shocked the censors, outraged the White House, and forever changed the face of television. Decades before The Daily Show, The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour proved there was a place on television for no-holds-barred political comedy with a decidedly antiauthoritarian point of view. In this explosive, revealing history of the show, veteran entertainment journalist David Bianculli tells the fascinating story of its three-year network run -- and the cultural impact that's still being felt today. Before it was suddenly removed from the CBS lineup (reportedly under pressure from the Nixon administration), The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour was a ratings powerhouse. It helped launch the careers of comedy legends such as Steve Martin and Rob Reiner, featured groundbreaking musical acts like the Beatles and the Who, and served as a cultural touchstone for the antiwar movement of the late 1960s. Drawing on extensive original interviews with Tom and Dick Smothers and dozens of other key players -- as well as more than a decade's worth of original research -- Dangerously Funny brings readers behind the scenes for all the battles over censorship, mind-blowing musical performances, and unforgettable sketches that defined the show and its era. David Bianculli delves deep into this riveting story, to find out what really happened and to reveal why this show remains so significant to this day.
Cubicle-dwelling business people the world over have been knowingly nodding, faithfully push-pinning their favorite strips to their cube walls, and--most of all--belly laughing out loud ever since Dilbert first arrived on the scene. In this collection, Excuse Me While I Wag, Dilbert and his look-alike dog, Dogbert, once again provide comic relief to anyone who has ever had to inhabit a cubicle, endure an "initiative of the week," or simply work in an office that has, on occasion, caused them to pull out large clumps of their hair. Scott Adams' dead-on humor in Excuse Me While I Wag is sure to satisfy the hordes of fans worldwide who avidly follow the misadventures of Dilbert, Dogbert, Catbert, Ratbert, the pointy-haired boss, and the rest of the cast of characters in Dilbert's world--a world that's eerily like the one we work in daily.
Bolton's attitude is that when you can't stop the crow's-feet from walking all over your face, it's time to laugh about it. And laughs are what she provides in this humorous yet insightful meditation on life after 40.
Ayun Halliday's fourth book, Dirty Sugar Cookies, takes readers into the unpredictable mind and comical experiences of a true anti-foodie, giving even the most hopeless cooks a moment of relief from self-criticism, and the least discriminating eaters a reality check. Halliday started out a repressed picky eater without so much as a single fast-food-loving sibling to save her from the gourmet ambitions of a mother whose recipe for Far East Celery once received favorable mention in the Indianapolis Star. Her palate has since expanded to the degree that she'll fork down anything from chili-smothered insects that pass for an exotic destination's local delicacies to a peanut found wedged between the cushions of a theater seat.
From summer camp's unlimited Pop-Tarts to the post-coital breakfasts of a well-traveled actress-waitress and the frustrating payback of cooking for some finicky offspring of the author's own, Dirty Sugar Cookies is an omnivorous, hilarious chronicle of culinary awakening.
From summer camp's unlimited Pop-Tarts to the post-coital breakfasts of a well-traveled actress-waitress and the frustrating payback of cooking for some finicky offspring of the author's own, Dirty Sugar Cookies is an omnivorous, hilarious chronicle of culinary awakening.
Ponder, if you will
What happens to your Social Security number when you die?
Why are peanuts listed as an ingredient in plain M&Ms?
Why is Barbie's hair made out of nylon, but Ken's hair is plastic?
What makes up the ever-mysterious "new-car smell"?
Pop-culture guru David Feldman demystifies these topics and so much more in Do Penguins Have Knees? -- the unchallenged source of answers to civilization's most perplexing questions.
Part of the Imponderables(R) series, Do Penguins Have Knees? arms readers with the knowledge about everyday life that encyclopedias, dictionaries, and almanacs just don't have. And think about it, where else are you going to get to the bottom of how beer was kept cold in the Old West?
The creator of "Dilbert," the fastest-growing comic strip in America (syndicated in more than 900 newspapers and read by more than 60 million people), presents a hilariously biting compilation of cartoons that expose the absurdities of corporate management. Dilbert is sweeping the nation. "The San Francisco Chronicle" dubbed him "the cartoon hero of the workplace, " saying that the strip "has its finger on the pulse of the '90s white-collar workplace." Now online, it is one of the hottest Web sites on the Internet, and more than a million copies of the "Dilbert" cartoon books have been sold.
In this latest cartoon compilation, Dilbert's canine sidekick, the Machiavellian Dogbert, presents a breakthrough management manual to help bosses stick it to their employees. All too often, new managers make mistakes like rewarding good work with good pay, communicating clearly and improving departmental efficiency. Dogbert shows that this could have devastating results: Employees begin to expect fair treatment and compensation, productive workers show results (making the managers look bad by comparison) and the department's future budget allotment could be decreased because it spends only what it needs.
Drawn from years of experience tormenting Dilbert and advising his boss, "Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook" uses pithy essays, whose points are illustrated with hundreds of comic strips, to drive home the lost cause of the employee in the workplace. It is the perfect gift for bosses and office workers everywhere."[Adams] turns the powerful searchlight of his intelligence on management, seeking its very essence. Think of him as Peter Drucker with fleas." "--Fortune"
"I am nowconvinced 98% of the managers I've worked for have read this book and taken Dogbert's advice." "--USA Today"
David Sedaris plays in the snow with his sisters. He goes on vacation with his family. He gets a job selling drinks. He attends his brother's wedding. He mops his sister's floor. He gives directions to a lost traveler. He eats a hamburger. He has his blood sugar tested. It all sounds so normal, doesn't it? In his newest collection of essays, David Sedaris lifts the corner of ordinary life, revealing the absurdity teeming below its surface. His world is alive with obscure desires and hidden motives -- a world where forgiveness is automatic and an argument can be the highest form of love. Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim is another unforgettable collection from one of the wittiest and most original writers at work today.
Dumpty: The Age of Trump in Verse is a satirical poetry collection from award-winning actor and bestselling author John Lithgow. Chronicling the last few raucous years in American politics, Lithgow takes readers verse by verse through the history of Donald Trump's presidency. - Lampoons the likes of Betsy DeVos, William Barr, Rudy Giuliani, and dozens more.
- Illustrated from cover to cover with Lithgow's never-before-seen line drawings.
- Draws inspiration from A. A. Milne, Lewis Carroll, Edward Lear, and even Mother Goose.
- Great for fans of A Very Stable Genius by Mike Luckovich, Win Bigly: Persuasion in a World Where Facts Don't Matter by Scott Adams, and The Donald J. Trump Presidential Twitter Library by The Daily Show with Trevor Noah. The poems collected in Dumpty draw inspiration from A. A. Milne, Lewis Carroll, Edward Lear, Rodgers and Hammerstein, Mother Goose, and many more. A feat of laugh-out-loud lyrical storytelling, this timely volume is bound to bring joy to poetry lovers, political junkies, and Lithgow fans alike.
- Illustrated from cover to cover with Lithgow's never-before-seen line drawings.
- Draws inspiration from A. A. Milne, Lewis Carroll, Edward Lear, and even Mother Goose.
- Great for fans of A Very Stable Genius by Mike Luckovich, Win Bigly: Persuasion in a World Where Facts Don't Matter by Scott Adams, and The Donald J. Trump Presidential Twitter Library by The Daily Show with Trevor Noah. The poems collected in Dumpty draw inspiration from A. A. Milne, Lewis Carroll, Edward Lear, Rodgers and Hammerstein, Mother Goose, and many more. A feat of laugh-out-loud lyrical storytelling, this timely volume is bound to bring joy to poetry lovers, political junkies, and Lithgow fans alike.
The eagerly awaited new book from the Emmy-winning, Oscar-hosting, Daily Show-anchoring Jon Stewart--the man behind the megaseller America (The Book). Where do we come from? Who created us? Why are we here? These questions have puzzled us since the dawn of time, but when it became apparent to Jon Stewart and the writers of The Daily Show that the world was about to end, they embarked on a massive mission to write a book that summed up the human race: What we looked like; what we accomplished; our achievements in society, government, religion, science and culture -- all in a tome of approximately 256 pages with lots of color photos, graphs and charts. After two weeks of hard work, they had their book. Earth (The Book) is the definitive guide to our species. With their trademark wit, irreverence, and intelligence, Stewart and his team will posthumously answer all of life's most hard-hitting questions, completely unburdened by objectivity, journalistic integrity, or even accuracy.
What do Neil Diamond, Touched by an Angel, Pamela Anderson, The Boy in the Plastic Bubble, White castle hamburgers, Benny Hill, Thomas Kinkade, and the song "You Light Up My Life" have in common? They're all guilty pleasures--and they're all celebrated in this massive A-to-Z encyclopedia. Authors Sam Stall, Lou Harry, and Julia Spalding have unearthed fascinating trivia about literature (Valley of the Dolls, The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue), television (The Real World, Land of the Lost), fashion (Members Only jackets, the WonderBra), and more. Every page features a sophisticated two-column design and handy guide words for quick at-a-glance reference. Best of all, we've illustrated 100 of the guiltiest pleasures with the same portrait style used by the Wall Street Journal. Complete with 1,001 entries, it's the ultimate guide to everything you hate to love!
From Emmy Award-winning, world-famous magician Penn Jillette comes an irreverent, hilarious, and provocative book of essays--the perfect gift for the skeptic in your life.
Let's be honest--nobody has more fun than atheists. Don't believe it? Well, consider this: For non-believers, every day you're alive is a day to celebrate! And no one celebrates life to the fullest like Penn Jillette, the larger, louder half of legendary magic duo Penn & Teller, whose spectacularly witty and sharply observant essays in Every Day Is an Atheist Holiday! will entertain zealots and skeptics alike. Whether he's contemplating the possibility of life after death, deconstructing popular Christmas carols, or just calling bullsh*t on Donald Trump, Jillette does not fail to shock and delight his readers. And as ever, underneath these rollicking rants lie a deeply personal philosophy and a generous spirit, which find joy and meaning in family, and peace in the simple beauty of the everyday. Every Day Is an Atheist Holiday! is a hysterical affirmation of life's magic from one of the most distinctly perceptive and provocative humorists writing today.
Let's be honest--nobody has more fun than atheists. Don't believe it? Well, consider this: For non-believers, every day you're alive is a day to celebrate! And no one celebrates life to the fullest like Penn Jillette, the larger, louder half of legendary magic duo Penn & Teller, whose spectacularly witty and sharply observant essays in Every Day Is an Atheist Holiday! will entertain zealots and skeptics alike. Whether he's contemplating the possibility of life after death, deconstructing popular Christmas carols, or just calling bullsh*t on Donald Trump, Jillette does not fail to shock and delight his readers. And as ever, underneath these rollicking rants lie a deeply personal philosophy and a generous spirit, which find joy and meaning in family, and peace in the simple beauty of the everyday. Every Day Is an Atheist Holiday! is a hysterical affirmation of life's magic from one of the most distinctly perceptive and provocative humorists writing today.
From America's favorite television reporter--wise and hilarious commentaries on the always fragile human condition.
In this one-of-a-kind book, we get the undiluted David Brinkley. He marvels at government regulations that require paint cans to bear a label reading "Do not drink paint." He reminisces about a White House that once welcomed casual picnickers on its lawn. He observes that "if we can put a man on the moon, we could put Congress in orbit." He skewers lawyers, bureaucrats, Washington insiders, hypocrites of all stripes. He commemorates absurdity--and hence suffers fools gladly. This collection is Brinkley at his unbeatable best.
In this one-of-a-kind book, we get the undiluted David Brinkley. He marvels at government regulations that require paint cans to bear a label reading "Do not drink paint." He reminisces about a White House that once welcomed casual picnickers on its lawn. He observes that "if we can put a man on the moon, we could put Congress in orbit." He skewers lawyers, bureaucrats, Washington insiders, hypocrites of all stripes. He commemorates absurdity--and hence suffers fools gladly. This collection is Brinkley at his unbeatable best.
On "Everybody Loves Raymond", the show "Entertainment Weekly" calls"the smartest sitcom", Ray Romano has won millions of fans by being today's funniest observer of family life. Now, in a book that is both laugh-out-loud funny and steeped in the all-too-real stew of life, Romano uses that same blend of wicked wit and survivor's wisdom to find humor in those family situations to which every reader can relate.
Babies can be a joy--and hard work. Now, they can also be a 50-in-1 science project kit! This fascinating and hands-on guide shows you how to re-create landmark scientific studies on cognitive, motor, language, and behavioral development--using your own bundle of joy as the research subject. Simple, engaging, and fun for both baby and parent, each project sheds light on how your baby is acquiring new skills--everything from recognizing faces, voices, and shapes to understanding new words, learning to walk, and even distinguishing between right and wrong. Whether your little research subject is a newborn, a few months old, or a toddler, these simple, surprising projects will help you see the world through your baby's eyes--and discover ways to strengthen newly acquired skills during your everyday interactions.
Calvin Trillin begins his wise and charming ruminations on family by stating the sum total of his child-rearing advice: "Try to get one that doesn't spit up. Otherwise, you're on your own." Suspicious of any child-rearing theories beyond "Your children are either the center of your life or they're not, " Trillin has clearly reveled in the role of family man -- writing songs like "Uncle Max's Kids Are Gross, Creepy, Dumb and Yucky" for family movie musicals, marching in the local Halloween parade in his favorite ax murderer's mask even after his daughters had grown up and moved away, changing diapers in the knowledge that otherwise he might be robbing himself of the opportunity to say, during a stressful family conversation 15 or 20 years down the road, "I changed your diapers!" Acknowledging the special perils to the privacy of people living with a writer who occasionally remarks, "I hope you're not under the impression that what you just said was off the record, " Trillin deals with the subject of family in a way that is loving, honest, and wildly funny.
1993 FarWorks, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
The Far Side and the Larson signature are registered trademarks of FarWorks, Inc.
The Far Side and the Larson signature are registered trademarks of FarWorks, Inc.
Sure, everyone does it; but everyone tries to hide it a little differently. Farts: A Spotter's Guide will help you pinpoint he (or she) who dealt it every time. This hilarious book identifies the habitat, range, voice, and "field marks" of tencommon wind breakers, from the gentle hiss of the Silent-but-Deadly to the rip-roaring flatulation of the Seismic Blast. The attached battery powered fart machine reproduces each emanation in accurate sound. Grossly hip illustrations by the Fudge Factory'syes, you read that rightTravis Millard depict the offenders and offendees in brilliant detail. Printed on durable card stock, this is pure, unbridled entertainment for the giggling child in all of us. Let 'er rip!
Featuring more than 100 photos and quotes from cats in America's most glamorous city, Felines of New York exposes the furry underbelly of New York City's most glamorous, self-important residents. Where New York humans are accomplished, interesting, thoughtful, creative, and even sometimes tragic figures, the cats are simply cats. They do not stand in line for brunch, or have season tickets to the Met, or go indoor-rock climbing in Brooklyn. They do not shop at thrift stores or nibble finger sandwiches at the Russian Tea Room. And they certainly do not give a flying f*ck about the Yankees. No, the felines of New York bathe, purr, bask languidly in the sun, and occasionally cast baleful glances at the humans who provide them food and shelter. They are proof that behind every New Yorker, there lays a cat just waiting to destroy their IKEA futon and then eat their faces off when they die.
The most-listened-to radio personality in the country is back with another collection of winning stories. Based on the popular For What It's Worth feature of Harvey's daily broadcast, this witty, whimsical volume gathers the best of those strange, funny and downright irresistible news items culled from papers coast-to-coast.
Long before there were Politically Correct Bedtime Stories, Americans were getting their giggles from Fractured Fairy Tales, a regular feature on Rocky and Bullwinkle in the 1960s. Now, for the first time, these delightfully warped parables are available in read-aloud book form, illustrated with classic art from the show.
CUTE KITTENS
PURRING GUNS
From SPAS-12-toting Siamese and AK-47-flashing Norwegian Forest Cat to Colt 45-carrying Tonkinese and a Beretta-brandishing Russian Blue, this book exposes with pictures the shocking love affair between furry felines and high-powered firearms.
Many secret habits of felines have previously been revealed, including their motivations for painting, the stuff they wear, and their laugh-out-loud language. But until now, no book has dared explore the shadowy world of armed-to-the-teeth kittens described and pictured in "From My Cold Dead Paws." Like strawberries and cream, hot dogs and baseball, apple pie and illegal fireworks, cats and guns make perfect partners. From Colt 45carrying calico and Glock-toting tabby to Uzi-brandishing Siamese and AKSU-flashing Siberian, this book presents the shocking intersection of America s love affairs with cuddly pets and purring guns. A photographic celebration of the independent nature of cats, "From My Cold Dead Paws" offers full descriptions of each breed and gun, including color, coat type, pattern, caliber, barrel length, and muzzle velocity. Adding to the readers' enjoyment is a dynamic, full-color design with guns, bullets, and targets firing all over the pages.
"
PURRING GUNS
From SPAS-12-toting Siamese and AK-47-flashing Norwegian Forest Cat to Colt 45-carrying Tonkinese and a Beretta-brandishing Russian Blue, this book exposes with pictures the shocking love affair between furry felines and high-powered firearms.
Many secret habits of felines have previously been revealed, including their motivations for painting, the stuff they wear, and their laugh-out-loud language. But until now, no book has dared explore the shadowy world of armed-to-the-teeth kittens described and pictured in "From My Cold Dead Paws." Like strawberries and cream, hot dogs and baseball, apple pie and illegal fireworks, cats and guns make perfect partners. From Colt 45carrying calico and Glock-toting tabby to Uzi-brandishing Siamese and AKSU-flashing Siberian, this book presents the shocking intersection of America s love affairs with cuddly pets and purring guns. A photographic celebration of the independent nature of cats, "From My Cold Dead Paws" offers full descriptions of each breed and gun, including color, coat type, pattern, caliber, barrel length, and muzzle velocity. Adding to the readers' enjoyment is a dynamic, full-color design with guns, bullets, and targets firing all over the pages.
"
Like every great lasagna, Garfield was born in the kitchen of an Italian restaurant on a winter's night in 1978, while outside snow fell like grated Parmesan cheese. He weighed five pounds, six ounces at birth--that's big for a kitten!--and right from the start showed a passion for Italian food. The restaurant owner, forced to choose between Garfield and closing his doors for lack of pasta, sold Garfield to a pet store. Garfield thought he was a goner until Jon Arbuckle walked in the door. The rest is history.
BUSINESS has always risked running onto the rocks of executive imbecility. But in the last 30 years, it has been driven onto the rocks by waves of financial plunder. Whether by banks, hedge funds, private equity, short sellers, raiders, lawyers, or Russians, THE WRECK OF THE "FOUNTAINHEAD" TELLS THE WHOLE STORY!WE ARE ALL JUST ONE STEP AWAY FROM THE WRECK OF THE "FOUNTAINHEAD" ... BE PREPARED!