Humor

Attention would-be "paesans": Can't distinguish "gabagool" from "pasta fazool"? Not sure how to properly accessorize your track suit with gold chains? Does the phrase "go to the mattresses" make you sleepy? Now Steven R. Schirripa, "The Sopranos'" own Bobby Bacala, exposes the inner mysteries of this unique Italian-American hybrid in A Goomba's Guide to Life so that anyone can walk, talk, and live like a guy "from the neighborhood."
Uber-goomba Steve Schirripa shows how being a goomba made him what he is today, offering lessons learned on his own journey from Bensonhurst to Vegas, and to his current gig as Bobby Bacala on one of TV's most popular shows. Along the way, he shares secrets that will help you get in touch with your own inner goomba. You'll learn what music to enjoy (Sinatra, yes; Snoop Dogg, no), what movies to watch (Raging Bull, yes; Titanic, never), which sports to follow (baseball is good; golf and tennis, fuhgeddaboudit), and even tips on goomba etiquette. Ever wonder how a real goomba gets the best seat in the house? (Hint: It involves tipping, jewelry, and intimidation.) Schirripa even includes goomba do's and don'ts (never, ever criticize a goomba's mother or her gravy; always wear more jewelry than you think you need).
With knockout photographs of Schirripa and his compares, and insider information on how to think goomba, speak goomba, cook and eat goomba, and even how to behave at goomba weddings and funerals, A Goomba's Guide to Life will show any wiseguy wannabe how to sing like a Soprano.

"From the Hardcover edition."

"I've always looked upon cartooning as comedy's last frontier. I have done stand-up, sketches, movies, monologues, awards show introductions, sound bites, blurbs, talk show appearances, and tweets, but the idea of a one-panel image with or without a caption mystified me. I felt like, yeah, sometimes I'm funny, but there are these other weird freaks who are actually funny. You can understand that I was deeply suspicious of these people who are actually funny."

So writes the multitalented comedian Steve Martin in his introduction to A Wealth of Pigeons: A Cartoon Collection. In order to venture into this lauded territory of cartooning, he partnered with the heralded New Yorker cartoonist Harry Bliss. Steve shared caption and cartoon ideas, Harry provided impeccable artwork, and together they created this collection of humorous cartoons and comic strips, with amusing commentary about their collaboration throughout. The result: this gorgeous, funny, singular book, perfect to give as a gift or to buy for yourself.

All Women Are Bitches is a short, historically factual, very irreverent and slightly biased account of the relationships between women and men and their connection to religion. Although this is clearly meant to be a handbook for men, it is dedicated to all the beautiful women who inspired me to write it. I realize that many of you will understandably be quite upset with me and think that only an asshole would write a book with a title like this. You could be right about that, but please don't rush to judgment. Do you really think I spent all this time and effort to be known as the asshole who wrote a book? The contents might surprise you, and if you take the time to read the entire book, you may change your opinion. I'm actually very loveable. And ladies, if you do decide to read this handbook for men, there is a section near the end where I offer you some helpful advice that you may be able to use in the future. And don't get all negative on me before I even start; I'm not telling you what to do because I know better. I'm only offering advice. When I decided well over a year ago to write a book, I wasn't really sure what to write about. My initial thought was to come across as likeable and for the book to be entertaining, easy reading, and non-offensive. Obviously that didn't happen. Days went by and I had nothing, so I wrote this instead.

FROM GROWING UP IN DETROIT, where he marched as a ten-year-old with Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., to attending the inauguration of President Barack Obama, where he narrowly avoided the Purple Tunnel of Doom but still saw nothing, David Alan Grier examines how he -- and America -- have changed for the better and the funnier.

Within these pages, Grier imagines being called to serve in President Obama's cabinet as the "secretary of mirth"; takes you to a wild and emotional election night party he hosted that didn't go as planned; explains the true meaning of the "magical Negro"; recalls the formative episodes from his life -- including being rejected by the Black Panthers at their headquarters door and turning down the initial offer to work on "In Living Color" -- and for the first time ever sneaks you backstage at "Dancing with the Stars," where he exposes the inner workings of the show -- the camaraderie between dancers and stars, the excruciatingly painful rehearsals, the outrageous preparations, and each hysterical moment of his four-episode appearance and subsequent public meltdown.

Grier unabashedly muses on politics, culture, and race while recounting his own life story in this edgy, timeless, hilarious, and revelatory memoir and look at all things Barack.

"Barack Like Me" is David Alan Grier at his best -- the man, comic, and twenty-first-century thinker -- funny, brilliant, and original.

The Pulitzer Prize-winning creator of the hilarious Bloom County comic strip is back! To help celebrate, here is the first ever Bloom County picture book, featuring fan-favorite Bill the Cat in an origin story. (Ack ack!) The perfect gift for Bloomers old and new.

An Amazon Best Book of the Year and NY Times bestseller!

Almost thirty-five years ago Berkeley Breathed launched a little-known yet laugh-inducing comic strip called Bloom County that was full of characters who instantly entered the public consciousness--none more so than Opus (the penguin) and Bill the Cat. Bloom County's popularity soared, it was soon syndicated nationally, had millions of daily readers, and before long its creator was awarded a Pulitzer Prize. Then, nine years later, Bloom County sadly came to a close. It had simply ceased being fun for Berkeley Breathed.

Now, more than twenty-five years after it ended, Bloom County has returned in full force and humor online, with an ever-growing fanbase every bit as zealous as it was in the strip's heyday. For the comic's youngest fans, and for those who never stopped wishing for its return, here is an all-new, kid-friendly story for anyone who ever wanted to know the origin story of Bill the Cat. Bloom County has never been more fun!

Praise for The Bill the Cat Story

The illustrations, a mixture of cartoons, eye-popping virtual paintings, and pencil sketches, will pull inquisitive audiences of all ages into the story.--Booklist

[E]xtravagantly rendered artwork in luscious color.--Publishers Weekly

Pure, kind, and gracious are some of the qualities one associates with the bride at any wedding--but not here! More than four million Americans get married each year, and not all of the brides are well behaved. This hilarious collection of candid wedding photographs proves that not every bride is delicate or demure. These hysterical and sometimes shocking photos include brides doing keg stands, bawdy bridesmaids and grooms gone wild, crazy cakes and favors, and out-of-this-world wedding themes, including Star Trek and vampire brides. This is not the stuff that fairy tales are made of. These photos of real brides, complete with dead-pan captions, show the Bridezilla peeking out from under the veil.

Cartoon Success Secrets offers a veritable comics college education on how to succeed as a cartoonist. It features insider's perspectives from 20 top cartoonists, whose comic strips such as Zits, Garfield, Cathy, and For Better or For Worse appear in at least a thousand newspapers every day.

Author Jud Hurd caught the cartooning bug more than three quarters of a century ago, and at age 90 he's still not cured. Now, in Cartoon Success Secrets, the editor of the cartooning industry's leading insider magazine, CARTOONIST PROfiles, shares the colorful stories and sage advice of his cartoonist colleagues.

Through his personal encounters with virtually every cartoonist legend of the last four decades, Hurd amassed countless insights from the world's best cartoonists on how they rose to the top of their field. Now, for the first time ever, he shares his early conversations with such famous cartoonists as Walt Disney, Rube Goldberg, H. T. Webster, George McManus, Frederick Opper, and countless others who succeeded in selling their creations to major syndicates and attaining their cartooning aspirations. Their words will inspire all who have dreamed of becoming a famous cartoonist.

Many books have profiled cartooning legends, but never before has a book compiled detailed advice from these creators on how they achieved their success. Cartoon Success Secrets is sure to fascinate cartoon enthusiasts the world over, from fledgling cartoonists looking to break into the industry to fans of the funny pages wanting to know how their favorite artists made it big.

In this inside look at cats through the centuries, a savvy feline of the nineties gives us a delightful, yet factual look at cats who came before in all walks of life: art, literature, as muse and inspiration for famous owners, and as memorable marketing tools and spokescats for products now an indispensable a part of our lives.

The book that Janet Maslin of The New York Times has called "indispensable" and "a transfixing study of American mores and manners that happens to incorporate boundless laughs, too" is finally available in paperback--fully updated and featuring a brand new introduction by Adam Gopnik.

Organized by decade, with commentary by some of the magazine's finest writers, this landmark collection showcases the work of the hundreds of talented artists who have contributed cartoons over the course ofThe New Yorker's eight-two-year history. From the early cartoons of Peter Arno, George Price and Charles Addams to the cutting-edge work of Alex Gregory, Matthew Diffee and Bruce Eric Kaplan (with stops along the way for the genius of Charles Barsotti, Roz Chast, Jack Ziegler, George Booth, and many others), the art collected here forms, as David Remnick puts it in his Foreword, "the longest-running popular comic genre in American life."

Throughout the book, brief overviews of each era's predominant themes--from the Depression and nudity to technology and the Internet, highlight various genres of cartoons and shed light on our pastimes and preoccupations. Brief profiles and mini-portfolios spotlight the work of key cartoonists, including Arno, Chast, Ziegler, and others.

The DVD-ROM included with the book is what really makes the "Complete Cartoons" complete. Compatible with most home computers and easily browsable, the disk contains a mind-boggling 70,363 cartoons, indexed in a variety of ways. Perhaps you'd like to find all the cartoons by your favorite artist. Or maybe you'd like to look up the cartoons that ran the week you were born, or all of the cartoons on a particular subject. Of course, you can always begin at the beginning, February 21, 1925, and experience the unprecedented pleasure of reading through every single cartoon ever published in The New Yorker.

Enjoy this one-of-a-kind protrait of American life over the past eight decades, as captured by the talented pens and singular outlooks of the masters of the cartoonist's art.

Bolton's attitude is that when you can't stop the crow's-feet from walking all over your face, it's time to laugh about it. And laughs are what she provides in this humorous yet insightful meditation on life after 40.

Ponder, if you will

What happens to your Social Security number when you die?
Why are peanuts listed as an ingredient in plain M&Ms?
Why is Barbie's hair made out of nylon, but Ken's hair is plastic?
What makes up the ever-mysterious "new-car smell"?

Pop-culture guru David Feldman demystifies these topics and so much more in Do Penguins Have Knees? -- the unchallenged source of answers to civilization's most perplexing questions.

Part of the Imponderables(R) series, Do Penguins Have Knees? arms readers with the knowledge about everyday life that encyclopedias, dictionaries, and almanacs just don't have. And think about it, where else are you going to get to the bottom of how beer was kept cold in the Old West?

The eagerly awaited new book from the Emmy-winning, Oscar-hosting, Daily Show-anchoring Jon Stewart--the man behind the megaseller America (The Book).

Where do we come from? Who created us? Why are we here? These questions have puzzled us since the dawn of time, but when it became apparent to Jon Stewart and the writers of The Daily Show that the world was about to end, they embarked on a massive mission to write a book that summed up the human race: What we looked like; what we accomplished; our achievements in society, government, religion, science and culture -- all in a tome of approximately 256 pages with lots of color photos, graphs and charts.

After two weeks of hard work, they had their book. Earth (The Book) is the definitive guide to our species. With their trademark wit, irreverence, and intelligence, Stewart and his team will posthumously answer all of life's most hard-hitting questions, completely unburdened by objectivity, journalistic integrity, or even accuracy.

From Emmy Award-winning, world-famous magician Penn Jillette comes an irreverent, hilarious, and provocative book of essays--the perfect gift for the skeptic in your life.

Let's be honest--nobody has more fun than atheists. Don't believe it? Well, consider this: For non-believers, every day you're alive is a day to celebrate! And no one celebrates life to the fullest like Penn Jillette, the larger, louder half of legendary magic duo Penn & Teller, whose spectacularly witty and sharply observant essays in Every Day Is an Atheist Holiday! will entertain zealots and skeptics alike.

Whether he's contemplating the possibility of life after death, deconstructing popular Christmas carols, or just calling bullsh*t on Donald Trump, Jillette does not fail to shock and delight his readers. And as ever, underneath these rollicking rants lie a deeply personal philosophy and a generous spirit, which find joy and meaning in family, and peace in the simple beauty of the everyday. Every Day Is an Atheist Holiday! is a hysterical affirmation of life's magic from one of the most distinctly perceptive and provocative humorists writing today.

On "Everybody Loves Raymond", the show "Entertainment Weekly" calls"the smartest sitcom", Ray Romano has won millions of fans by being today's funniest observer of family life. Now, in a book that is both laugh-out-loud funny and steeped in the all-too-real stew of life, Romano uses that same blend of wicked wit and survivor's wisdom to find humor in those family situations to which every reader can relate.

Calvin Trillin begins his wise and charming ruminations on family by stating the sum total of his child-rearing advice: "Try to get one that doesn't spit up. Otherwise, you're on your own." Suspicious of any child-rearing theories beyond "Your children are either the center of your life or they're not, " Trillin has clearly reveled in the role of family man -- writing songs like "Uncle Max's Kids Are Gross, Creepy, Dumb and Yucky" for family movie musicals, marching in the local Halloween parade in his favorite ax murderer's mask even after his daughters had grown up and moved away, changing diapers in the knowledge that otherwise he might be robbing himself of the opportunity to say, during a stressful family conversation 15 or 20 years down the road, "I changed your diapers!" Acknowledging the special perils to the privacy of people living with a writer who occasionally remarks, "I hope you're not under the impression that what you just said was off the record, " Trillin deals with the subject of family in a way that is loving, honest, and wildly funny.

Sure, everyone does it; but everyone tries to hide it a little differently. Farts: A Spotter's Guide will help you pinpoint he (or she) who dealt it every time. This hilarious book identifies the habitat, range, voice, and "field marks" of tencommon wind breakers, from the gentle hiss of the Silent-but-Deadly to the rip-roaring flatulation of the Seismic Blast. The attached battery powered fart machine reproduces each emanation in accurate sound. Grossly hip illustrations by the Fudge Factory'syes, you read that rightTravis Millard depict the offenders and offendees in brilliant detail. Printed on durable card stock, this is pure, unbridled entertainment for the giggling child in all of us. Let 'er rip!

The most-listened-to radio personality in the country is back with another collection of winning stories. Based on the popular For What It's Worth feature of Harvey's daily broadcast, this witty, whimsical volume gathers the best of those strange, funny and downright irresistible news items culled from papers coast-to-coast.

Like every great lasagna, Garfield was born in the kitchen of an Italian restaurant on a winter's night in 1978, while outside snow fell like grated Parmesan cheese. He weighed five pounds, six ounces at birth--that's big for a kitten!--and right from the start showed a passion for Italian food. The restaurant owner, forced to choose between Garfield and closing his doors for lack of pasta, sold Garfield to a pet store. Garfield thought he was a goner until Jon Arbuckle walked in the door.

The rest is history.

BUSINESS has always risked running onto the rocks of executive imbecility. But in the last 30 years, it has been driven onto the rocks by waves of financial plunder. Whether by banks, hedge funds, private equity, short sellers, raiders, lawyers, or Russians, THE WRECK OF THE "FOUNTAINHEAD" TELLS THE WHOLE STORY!WE ARE ALL JUST ONE STEP AWAY FROM THE WRECK OF THE "FOUNTAINHEAD" ... BE PREPARED!

Jim Norton is a pervert

in the truest sense of the word. The physical equivalent of a tall slug, he pays top dollar for massages with happy endings and is fascinated by shitty sitcoms and fat girls. He is also, at times, racially offensive and morally repugnant. He spares no one in his comedy -- least of all himself.

Now, in this outrageous, blisteringly funny collection of essays, Norton tackles the topics that are near and dear to his heart: from public events like the legendary Voyeur Bus incident on the Opie and Anthony Show, which culminated in all involved being taken to jail, or seeking a hug from his childhood idol Gene Simmons, to deeply private moments, including a teenage Jim's embarrassing poetry-writing attempts while in rehab, and his inexpensive sexual experience with an unwashed MILF (a Monolith I'd Like to Forget). His stories are raw, searingly honest in their attention to detail, and most of all, hilarious.

Filled with personal photos and nearly fifty candid and uncompromising essays, Happy Endings is one of a kind...and probably best read on an empty stomach.